For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also
This is weird. I went to a friend’s beautiful wedding last Saturday, and first heard the proverb “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Mathew 6:21)
On Friday night, I saw it in big bold letters on the building across from the seat I’d randomly managed to secure in the food-court, plastered in shining letters as part of Christmas decorations (CK Tangs, for those of you in Singapore. You can’t miss it on the front of the building).
Now, just reading through my RSS feed, I saw it mentioned in the comments of The Happiness Project’s post on a major epiphany about the nature of happiness.
Maybe there’s a message in all of this.
“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.“
Read MoreLessons from the Road: Are You Rich or Poor in Spirit?
I was walking through the forests near Chiang Dao Nest, breathing in the fresh air and enjoying being in the moment.
As I was looking at the sun shining through the treetops, something Paul McKenna wrote in his book I Can Make You Rich sprang to my mind (more…)
Read MoreThe Monk Talks: What Would Buddha Do If Someone Hated Him?
Alvin’s Note: Our dear fellow Life Coach, and passionate personal development extraordinaire, Paiboon Busayarak, has embarked on a 3-month initiation into Buddhist monkhood in his native Thailand. He just sent me this post via email sharing the conversations he’s had with his teacher. The words are his, the grammar tweaking is mine 😉 Enjoy!)
What would Buddha do if someone hated him?
Read MoreNot by hate is hate defeated;
Hate is quenched by love.
This is the eternal law.Dhammapada 5
Pay Yourself First
If you won a million dollars today, would you spend it all immediately buying loads of stuff so that by this time tomorrow, it’d be all gone?
I’d bet you wouldn’t, but that’s what a lot of people are doing; not with the money they win, but the money they make. (more…)
Read MoreHow To Deal With Someone’s Anger
(Alvin’s Note: Our dear fellow Life Coach, and passionate personal development extraordinaire, Paiboon Busayarak, has embarked on a 3 month initiation into Buddhist monkhood in his native Thailand. He just sent me this post via email to share the insights he’s gleaming from this unique experience. The words are his, the grammar tweaking is mine 😉 Enjoy!)
Other people will sometimes get angry with you, even your loved ones. It happens to all of us. Some people even got angry with the Buddha!
So what can you do when you are on the receiving end of someone else’s anger? The answer can be found in the following story: (more…)
Read MoreWhat Are You Grateful For Today?
After watching The Pianist, the true story of how Vladislav Spelman survived the Holocaust as a Jew living in occupied Poland, I wasn’t only struck by the horrors he endured, but also by how privileged I was living my own life.
One of the most effective ways to stop worrying and boost your personal power is to simply focus on what you can, right now, with what you have.
Another way is to acknowledge what you already have in your life right now that you’re grateful for. The little things that you take for granted in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, that already make your life sparkle if you’d only see them with renewed eyes.
Read MoreWhat To Do When You Make Mistakes
Taking a leaf from Senia’s wonderful quotes posts, and because I seem to have made a few this past week (ouch!), here’s what greatness has had to say about what to do when you make mistakes.
Cicero:
We must not say every mistake is a foolish one.
George Bernard Shaw:
Read MoreA life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
Who Binds You?
This Zen parable is for someone for whom I’ve been talking for a while.
A man once went to a Zen master and asked; ‘Master, I must seek liberation.’
The teacher asked, ‘Who binds you?’
The student answered; ‘I do not know. Perhaps I bind myself.’
Read More9 Steps to Transform Stress into Strength
If you’ve noticed I didn’t write much the previous week, it’s because work has been crazy and I’ve been under a lot of stress.
I’m sure you’ve been there too, haven’t you?
So how do we thrive in the midst of stress? How do we transform stress into strength so that when the going gets tough, the tough get going?
Read MoreNLP 101: 10 Plus 3 Beliefs That Create Wild Success
What is the Structure of Magic?
In the 1970s, Richard Bandler and John Grinder set out to answer the questions: ‘how do wildly successful people create their success?’ and ‘can these methods of success be replicated?’.‘can these methods of success be replicated?’.
They studied the best therapists of their time, and through observation, testing and trail and error, codified what they found into sets of prinicples and techniques. When they taught and used these strategies and found that they could reproduce the success these therapists had, they knew they were on to something.
NLP 101: So Dark The Con Of NLP
Throughout history, NLPers have been hunted down by the Evil League of Anti-NLPers, who have waved the Torches of deBunk (+2 agility) at us and angrily shouted big, big words like ‘pesudo-science’, ‘quackery’ and ‘you’re too hot for NLP’ (I get this one all the time).
For every claim for NLP, you can find one against. What’s going on?
Read MoreNLP 101: Life Is A Series of Systems
It was confusing; here was this bright, strong young woman who clearly had goals she passionately wanted, but somehow something held her back from going after them.
As I worked with her through the roots of her beliefs, I thought we were almost on the way to breaking her limiting patterns and on to action, when her face fell and she said she couldn’t continue.
Read MoreNLP 101: There Are No Resistant Listeners, Only Inflexible Speakers
This belief which enabled master therapists like Milton Erickson and Virginia Satir to help people whom other people had labeled ‘hopeless’ is also known as:
There are no resistant clients, only inflexible coaches/ therapists/ salespeople/ teachers
Also phrased sometimes as:
Read MoreNLP 101: Everyone Already Has All The Resources They Need
Had enough rolling your mind over the Pygmalion effect? Because the next NLP presupposition ties in nicely with it:
Everyone already has all the resources they need or the ability to get them
which also complements nicely the presupposition that people are not broken.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming believes that experience has a structure, and that structure is composed out of 5 senses: visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory or gustatory. And if every experience is composed out of these same building blocks, so is every state or resource.
Read MoreNLP 101: Experience Has A Structure
The next NLP presupposition is a pretty integral one to making things work with Neuro-Linguistic Programming:
Experience has a structure
Neuro-Linguistic Programming believes that experience has a structure, and that structure is composed out of 5 senses: visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory or gustatory. And because every experience is composed out of these same building blocks, so is every state, habit, skill or resource.
Read MoreNLP 101: You Cannot Not Communicate: The Pygmalion Effect
Something came to me so obviously connected with the NLP 101: You Cannot Not Communicate post that I regret not putting it up.
Have you ever heard of the Pygmalion effect? It refers to situations in which people perform better than other people simply because they are expected to do so.
In a study conducted by Robert Rosenthal, teachers of students were told that certain students were more gifted than others, when in fact, they were just students that were randomly selected. The amazing thing is, compared to an IQ test they took at the beginning of the year, and the same test at the end of the year, those randomly selected students showed more improvement than the other students!
Read MoreStruggle
There’s been a slight leave of absence here at Life Coaches Blog, not mainly because I’ve been so busy, but also because I’ve been feeling burnt out lately. I’m sure some of you know the feeling.
At the same time, a book I bought and began reading, Coaching Into Greatness, challenged me with a few new and interesting ideas through the week. (more…)
Read MoreNLP 101: People Are Not Broken
People are not broken
In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), we believe that people are not broken, and they work perfectly.
For example, a phobia is normally considered a ‘bad’ thing, someone who has an irrational phobia of envelopes is considered ‘broken’.
But the phobia works perfectly, there is never an instance when the phobia doesn’t work. If you have a phobia, it doesn’t break down one day and come back the next. The person above wouldn’t hold an envelope for 5 minutes normally, and then suddenly remember to scream!
Read MoreWhen Heroes Get Stuck: Workshop Junkies
When I was coaching motivational workshops, I saw a lot of people who were ‘workshop junkies’; they’d be landing from workshop to workshop, seemingly learning loads, but never really producing fantastic results in their own lives.
While my fellow coaches and I discussed many reasons as to why, lately I realized another elegant way it could be explained using the metaphor of The Hero’s Journey.
In The Hero’s Journey, you travel through 2 worlds: The Ordinary World, and The Extraordinary World.
Read MoreNLP 101: People are Always Making The Best Choices They Have
If I told you that one of the key presuppositions in Neuro-Linguistic Programming was:
People are always making the best choices they have
you might think I was off my rocker.
“Alvin,” you might say, “what about people who abuse their bodies with drugs and alcohol, take it out on their kids, and listen to euro-trance? You can’t say those are the best choices anyone can make!”
Read MoreNLP 101: You Cannot Not Communicate
The obvious follow-up to a post like The Meaning of Your Communication is The Response You Get is this next Neuro-Linguistic Programming presupposition:
You Cannot Not Communicate
We’re all always communicating, even when we don’t mean to or want to. Remember when I wrote that words only form 7% or so of our communication, the rest is 38% tonality and 55% body language? You might be pretty slick with your wordplay, but how aware are you of your tonalities and body language?
Read MoreNLP 101: The Meaning of Your Communication is The Response You Get
In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP):
The Meaning Of Your Communication is The Response You Get
Ever have a time when you were sure you were being totally clear, but the other person heard something else?
One way to deal with that is to blame: it’s their fault they didn’t get it. But then they didn’t get it, you didn’t get it, nobody got anything.
Read MoreThe 20% That Makes You 80% Happy
What’s The Next Best Thing To Do?
I’ve been living on a more micro than macro level the last couple of months, ever since being inspired by Adrian Savage’s The Simplest Path to Success post. Instead of asking myself, ‘what would go on my 10-year plan?’, I’m just asking ‘what’s the next best thing to do?‘ instead. I figure if I take the next best actions, the next best future would settle itself.
Read MoreNLP 101: Every Behaviour Has A Positive Intention
The most controversial and easily misunderstood of all the Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) presuppositions:
Every behaviour has a positive intention
Widely contested and misunderstood, until you add in this second half that makes it easier to understand:
Every behaviour has a positive intention, just not always for everyone else
Every behaviour you, I and everyone else engages in, has a positive intention behind it, even destructive behaviours like violence, drugs and listening to euro-trance.
Read MoreNLP 101: There is No Failure Only Learning Experience
Continuing with the NLP 101 series, we come to the next presupposition:
There is No Failure Only Feedback (I prefer to say Learning Experience)
In NLP we say there is no such thing as success, failure, happiness, depression, good taste (accounts for euro-trance). Not that people don’t feel these things, but that they’re convenient labels we tack on things. Your subjective experience of happiness is quite different from mine.
Read More