Author: Life Coach

Jun 9

NLP 101: Every Behaviour Has A Positive Intention

The most controversial and easily misunderstood of all the Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) presuppositions:

Every behaviour has a positive intention

Widely contested and misunderstood, until you add in this second half that makes it easier to understand:

Every behaviour has a positive intention, just not always for everyone else

Every behaviour you, I and everyone else engages in, has a positive intention behind it, even destructive behaviours like violence, drugs and listening to euro-trance.

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Jun 7

NLP 101: There is No Failure Only Learning Experience

Continuing with the NLP 101 series, we come to the next presupposition:

There is No Failure Only Feedback (I prefer to say Learning Experience)

In NLP we say there is no such thing as success, failure, happiness, depression, good taste (accounts for euro-trance). Not that people don’t feel these things, but that they’re convenient labels we tack on things. Your subjective experience of happiness is quite different from mine.

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May 31

NLP 101: The Map Is Not The Territory

What are The NLP Presuppositions?

The most basic and essential parts of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) are the presuppositions.

Think of the NLP presuppositions as the guiding principles or beliefs holding the NLP model up, like how a programming language maintains an entire computer operating system. Without the programming language, you can’t build the operating system and it collapses. But if you use the coding principles, your ability to create is limitless.

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May 18

NLP 101: What is NLP Special for The Super NLP Hardcore

Hold the press! Extra Special Definition for the Super Hardcore NLPers!

For the non-hardcore NLPers (I know you’re out there), take a chance. Read on, and see what new thoughts and ideas emerge, and tell me if you think I’m the greatest genius since Da Vinci or talking smack. Don’t look for me if your head explodes.

For the non-NLPers amongst us, you don’t have to read this, as I go a little more in-depth into the territory and you need some prior experience, and it’s not exactly life coaching stuff.

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May 17

NLP 101: What is NLP? Part 1

Throughout history; men and women have sought the answer to the question: what is NLP? who is NLP? when is NLP? is NLP better than sex?

In these next few posts, I shall reveal the ancient secrets as they were exclusively given to me in a top secret location by a Very NLP Person (VNLPP). While you’ll notice my slightly flippant take on the subject, you’ll also hopefully find some useful gems along the way.

I’ve been an NLP junkie for 10 years now, becoming a practitioner at the tender age of 16 to a master practitioner a couple of years ago. In between I’ve devoured whatever NLP books, audio programs, and videos I could get my greedy hands on.

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Apr 19

Proof That Happy People Are Good For You!

Kathy Sierra has posted scientific evidence of why building secret rapport with great feelings work!

In that post, I detailed a 9 step process to build rapport secretly by making yourself feel wonderful and then extending that feeling to others.

In Kathy’s fabulous post; Angry/negative people can be bad for your brain, she talks about scientific research that I had no idea about, including mirror neurons. Get this:

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Apr 6

Build Secret Rapport with Great Feelings

How would you like to be more attractive, and develop strong rapport with that special someone and feel fantastic at the same time?

Reading my friend Kloudiia’s post on her Dating Affairs blog about the 5th secret to your Attractive Quotient made me remember this little visualization that helps you increase good feelings and rapport.

Ever been with someone who’s had such good energy that you feel energized yourself just by being with this person? Doesn’t having this effect on you make you want to hang around this person more? Want to be a people magnet yourself?
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Mar 11

Guide to Flirting

The Social Issues Research Centre has put together a 26 page Guide to Flirting! Talk about upping your Attraction Quotient!

26 pages is a lot, but if you want the highlights, check out Arieanna’s summary on She Knows Best (one of my favorite websites for clueless guys like me). She’s even offered to answer questions from a female perspective…guys, this is your chance!

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Mar 10

Upping Your Attraction Quotient

For anyone who needs help with attracting the opposite sex (that’s everyone I think, unless you swing the other way, then it’s about attracting the same sex), my dating expert friend Kloudiia has interesting articles on upping your Attraction Quotient (AQ).

Hence, the question here is, how to make yourself attractive? Not all of us, in fact, most of us are not blessed with killer features and a devilish figure. Natural result – a less than 10 score in the looks department.
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Mar 2

What Are You Doing About It?

One of the quickest ways I’ve found to stop people when they go overdrive into victim mode with their complain stories is to just stop, and ask them in the midst of a ranting session; ‘So what are you doing about it?’

A bit harsh I know, but I only pull it out when there’s desperation involved: they’re desperate to change, in which case they’re committed to hearing whatever it takes, or I’m desperate, because they don’t look like they’re going to stop whining :p
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Feb 17

How To Suck and Still Be On Top

Ahem, disregarding the highly suggestive title of this post…

I’m going to tell you how to suck and still be on top…in a personal development sort of way. Only.

😉

I got this idea from reading Death by risk-aversion on the always good Creating Passionate Users. While Kathy talks about risk aversion in the state of companies, you can also read it through as it applies to you, personally.
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Feb 14

7 Days of Gratitude: Day 7

Today I met up with an old schoolmate of mine, we’ve known each other for nearly 9 years now and he’s one of the best friends I have.

We went to the Esplanade roof-top, a cultural building just besides the river. And as we both laid there on the wooden floor, just lazing and gazing up at the sky, he said; ‘how often do you get to just lie here on a monday afternoon on the roof of the Esplanade, watching the sky and looking at planes flying overhead leaving little cloud trails in their wake?’
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Feb 14

How to Give Your Special Someone a Magical Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

Now, if I had a special someone to celebrate it with (I don’t…volunteers anyone?), I’d know what I want to do for her on Valentine’s. I’ve always believed that the greatest gift you can give someone isn’t something from a paper bag, it’s something from the heart. Something that really touches someone at the core of who they are, not just on a material level (which is nice too…expensive gifts for me, anyone?).

So, how would I do that?

At the risk of repeating myself from the Give Someone a Magical Christmas post, I would write down and complete this sentence, on a nice card or piece of paper:

Who you are makes a difference to me because

and list out all the many ways this special person makes a difference in my life.

How does your special someone make a difference in your life? You letting them know exactly just how special they are to the special person in their life (ie YOU) will touch them in ways they’ll never expect (and maybe lead to you being touched in ways you never expect ;D ).

Failing that, this place has some great Valentines Day gift ideas for adults – it’s suitably risque, but lots of fun!

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Feb 13

7 Days of Gratitude: Day 6

Oops…apologies again for being late! Been out late again 😉

Yesterday was an interesting day. I got to make a new friend recently and last night we went out for the first time. It was a new opportunity to make a friend and I’m really grateful for that, especially since one of my goals this year is to widen my social circle.

Yay, goal accomplishing! 🙂

What about you? What’s one goal or direction in your life that you’re grateful to have accomplished?

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Feb 12

7 Days of Gratitude: Day 5

I apologize for being 2 hours, 40 minutes behind on the 5th day of gratitude…I’ve been out til late 😉

It was my friend Gabriel’s birthday earlier this week, and I met him today for some coffee and to pass him his birthday gift (one of my favorite books; Veronika Decides to Die). We had a nice chat, had dinner with his girlfriend and friends, and decided to go play LAN games afterwards (DOTA Allstars on Frozen Throne, one of my all-time favorites!).
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Feb 10

7 Days of Gratitude: Day 4

Today is my brother’s birthday, and since I was staying at home, I got to watch my home lovingly prepare a wonderful dinner and cake for him.

I really love my mom.

She works so hard to take care of everything in the house so that the rest of us can do what we do. I don’t care what anyone else says, being a homemaker is as tough a job, and as important a job as they come, and it deserves the ultimate respect.

I’m very grateful to have such a loving person in my life. Today I’m grateful for my mom.

So today’s coach’s challenge to you is this, who is one person that you’re absolutely grateful to have in your life?

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Feb 10

Get Comfortable Outside Your Comfort Zone

This may a little bit deviate from Alvin’s theme on Gratitude. At the same time, from another angle it’s really related because you should be gratified of all the challenges that are coming into your life.

And that’s reason why you should be comfortable coming out of your comfort zone.

If you remember the earlier post by Alvin on stretching, yes, stretching will get your comfort zone bigger and you should be comfortable with getting the stretch.
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Feb 9

7 Days of Gratitude: Day 3

This 7 Days of Gratitude is going places I never imagined.

I’m typing this as it just happened, a few minutes ago. I was on my way home from the neighbourhood gym when I saw a downed motorcycle at the traffic light. I saw a few people rush over to help and so did I, and when I helped lift the motorcycle up I saw her: a little girl of 8 had been hit and was lying crying on the ground.

The men helped carry her over to the side of the road while I called for an ambulance. I noticed, however, that her mom wasn’t showing the usual high levels of distress or anxiety I’d expect…nevertheless, I made the call, and told her about it.

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Feb 8

7 Days of Gratitude: Day 2

Today has been amazing.

As I was having lunch I bumped into a good friend of mine who happened to be in the area, totally unexpected and out of the blue! It was a good chance meeting, and we had lunch together with his colleague, and afterwards they taught me how to buy the lottery, which I was intending to do but had no idea how (I normally don’t, but it’s a $10 million special draw for the Lunar New Year so I thought why not, keep my fingers crossed!).

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Feb 8

7 Days of Gratitude: Day 1

On the 7 Days of Gratitude Challenge, I wonder if I could cheat a little and start yesterday, because I had such a wonderful day.

My friends and I were meeting at the beach for a nice group dinner, but a couple decided to meet earlier for a seaside jog. I’m not that keen into running, but I love cycling, and volunteered to carry their bags on my bike.

The weather was beautiful. All perfect for an afternoon jog. As the sun went down, I cycled onto a pier and watched the sea, and felt the cool breeze against my skin. I breathed in deep, and felt good to be alive.

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Feb 7

7 days of Gratitude: Intro

Everyone will agree that a positive attitude is one that is essential for peak performance living. One of the key parts to a positive attitude that I outlined in 9 Keys to Overcoming Difficult Times is an attitude that allows us to acknowledge what is already going well in our lives and appreciate them for their value. I’m talking of course, about the attitude of gratitude.

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Feb 4

9 Keys to Overcoming Difficult Times

Lately, I’ve had to deal with a lot of changes happening in my personal life. At first, describing them to my friends, I kept calling them endings, but afterward I began to feel as if it was a process of renewal. There is a Chinese saying that goes ‘if the old doesn’t go, the new cannot come’. Keeping that in mind, I’ve begun to view these difficult events as a shedding of things for me to grow forward, and so I’ve come to call them ‘changes’ instead of ‘endings’.

Difficult as it may, I know a friend who is also going through some tough changes of his own. This post is really for him because I want to share with him some tools I’ve found to be useful for me in managing my emotional state to navigate through the difficult times. I’m prone to worry and depression myself so I’ve had to learn how to pull myself through, and the beliefs and techniques from NLP and Solutions Focused Brief Therapy have helped tremendously.

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Jan 28

A Smile can bring you further than a Mile

It’s been a month since I came back from my Cambodia expedition. But I can still see the smiles of the children vividly and hear them laughing heartily in my ears. Oh gosh, I do miss them a lot.

The smiles they wear on their faces are so different from what I see back here where I lived. It’s not the kind of smile you see from a colleague from another department along the corridor nor is it the kind of smile you get from a distant relative at a family gathering. They are smiles that warm your heart, smiles that brighten your days and smiles that you want to see again and again. (more…)

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Jan 13

A PONDering Moment in Evolution

When was the last time you decide that you have to change something about or around you? How did you decide to change?

There were something that you decided at a certain point that you want to do more of, to have less of, to move away from, to go towards to…you decided that you deserve more, you are going to stay away from…you are sick of it, you are tired, fed up, irritated, frustrated, peeved, and what else not!?

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Jan 10

The Most Important Thing to Do: Stretch

The single most important principle I’ve learnt that has changed my life more than anything else is the principle of stretching:

Stretching is the act of doing something that you know is good for you and/or good for others and it scares you.

Imagine yourself at the centre of a circle. The edge of the circle is the edge of your comfort zone. It is everything that you know and are comfortable dealing with. Once in a while you might encounter an anomaly that hits the edge of your comfort zone, if it’s a little thing you expand to include it. (more…)

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