Life Coaches Blog

I went through a cupboard full of old things last weekend as part of decluttering for Chinese New Year, and ended up throwing away lots of old stuff.

But it wasn’t easy. In fact, I dug up books that I hadn’t seen in years, and if you know me, you know I have a great fondness for books. I grew up with some of these books and boy, did they bring back some memories.

I was having a tough time clearing them out, which I realized was strange. Here I was; suddenly feeling nostalgic for things I hadn’t seen in years, when in all these years previously I’d nary given them a second thought.

Walker, there is no path. The path is made by walking.

~ Antonio Machado

Sometimes, the benefit of having walked the rocky path is being able to help someone else avoid one.

My youngest brother’s just graduated from secondary school, and is choosing the next path to take in his life. Will he follow the path of his earlier 2 brothers and chose to study design, or will he take a different path? My other brother and I just spent the last 2 hours giving him advice and sharing our experiences.

It’s 12:44 in the morning, I’m tired, starting to have a headache and have to wake up early for work tomorrow, but it was worth it.

A person who had been surrounded by their peers now sits alone, safe in the knowledge that he or she is right in their viewpoint, even though they have alienated everyone around them. Some of us will sacrifice almost anything just in order to be the last one standing. One of the highest prices we pay in life is the cost of being right. The ego is a mighty powerful entity left unchecked.

Have you ever attempted to reason with a child who knows everything? It’s their way or no way at all. They simply cannot understand the concept of another person’s point of view. Children go through a stage where they are extremely self-absorbed. Everything is mine and they will not share. The world revolves around their desires and needs. This is a normal stage of childhood where the child is asserting their individuality and independence. The problem arises when the behavior is carried over into adulthood.

Have you ever found yourself feeling fine one moment, and suddenly lousy the next? Has a rotten memory ever come up for no good reason, and made you feel bad the whole day? Have you ever wondered why you sometimes irrationally imagining how badly the future could turn out - and wish you could stop doing that?

Your Mind, Your Body & a Thing

A lot of us use a computer almost everyday. It helps us get things done, communicate with people and learn new things. It is a source of pleasure but also pain. But you know when a computer breaks down, you wouldn’t say that ‘you’ were broken.

You live in your body in every moment. It helps you get things done, communicate with people and learn new things. It is a source of pleasure but also pain. When your legs are sore, you sometimes say; ‘my legs are sore’ and sometimes ‘I’m sore’. Yet, who is this you who is feeling sore - is this you really sore?

It’s that time of the year again when we Chinese prepare for the Chinese New Year. If you’re not that familiar with the festival, it’s the beginning of the new year for us based on the lunar calendar, and involves a lot of eating, visiting and especially cleaning!

For days before the new year, we sweep out the house, wipe down corners that haven’t been seen for ages, throw out old stuff and buy new ones. It’s an old tradition to start off the new year with a clean house and new clothes, and there’s a Chinese saying that translates to; ‘if the old doesn’t go, the new doesn’t come‘.

If that isn’t reason enough to declutter, I don’t know what is!

When I respond from abundance, I can enjoy every success I see, because I know that the universe has plenty for everyone. Liz knows the most powerful force in the universe. When are you going to start using it to change your world?

Be conscious, and think about, everything you do. Make conscious choices rather than doing things without thinking. Living consciously instead of reacting unconsciously is the difference between living awake or living asleep - choose one. Zen Habits gives you a guide to living your life consciously.

If I had to do it over again, I would go places and do things and travel lighter than I have. What would you do if you had your life to live all over again? Hint: it’s not something you’d want to realize when it’s too late. Learn what an 87 year-old woman had to say about living your life without regrets on Wake Up Tiger.

So what did I get from 10 days of keeping absolutely quiet, without any books, TV, internet connection and writing materials, sitting in meditation from morning till night?

Without any external inputs and any way to output my thoughts, I was forced to observe. Forced to observe myself, my own thoughts and feelings.

I saw the inordinate amount of rubbish that went through my mind everyday, and I found a way to be aware of it and be pulled along unawares. I saw old mental patterns emerge and new perspectives on old misgivings.

Everything is Always Changing

The beautiful Buddha statue outside the Prachinburi Vipassana center.

One of the central Buddhist principles is impermanence, the idea that everything cannot exist forever and will arise, then pass away.

My Mind Fights Back

While the days inside the Vipassana center blurred into each other, I remember that day 3, 5 and 7 were especially difficult for me.

While there were days of deep concentration and peacefulness, these were days when my mind’s old habits fought back to re-assert themselves. Doubts, agitation, aggression, my mind threw everything at me to rebel against this insistence on quietude and focus.

I remember being so worked up on those days that I couldn’t even sit still to meditate. I had to get up and walk around, or sweep the grounds to work all the energy off. One day I just laid there and watched the doubts and frustration storm past my mind as they worked themselves out.

But in the end, they helped me learn a lot about myself and life.

The Truth About Your Mind

The main meditation hall in Prachinburi.

(Continuing on the recount of my December Thai meditation sojourn after all the new year posts )

The next stage of my journey saw me heading to the Vipassana center in Prachinburi. After reaching Bangkok from Udon Thani, Paiboon and I parted ways as he was going to another Vipassana center.

While waiting for the bus, I wasn’t quite so sure what to expect. 10 straight days of meditation, starting at 4:30AM in the morning, without any books, music players, TVs or writing materials allowed – not to mention no talking at all?

So now that it’s over, what was it like?

The Vipassana center in Prachinburi, tucked away in a tranquil location.

One thing to remember is that your current situation, whether good or bad, didn’t develop overnight. It took you your entire life, to get to where you are and who you are today. And you still have the rest of your life, to try to get to where and who you’d rather be. It’s the end of the first week of a new year. Have you taken the time to do an annual life audit yet?

Great moments often catch us unaware, beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one. The story of The Cab Ride from the Anthony Robbins newsletter nearly moved me to tears. It’s a simple but powerful story about how the smallest acts of kindness you make can have the biggest effect on somebody else’s life.