This post has been a long time in coming, and in it I’ll explain why in order for me to move towards truth, love and power, I’ve decided to close Life Coaches Blog.

Be Willing to Change Everything in Your Life

In David Deida’s book The Way of the Superior Man, he talks about how you must be willing to change everything in your life when necessary.

A man must be prepared to give 100% to his purpose, fulfill his karma or dissolve it, and then let go of that specific form of living. He must be capable of not knowing what to do with his life, entering a period of unknowingness and waiting for a vision or a new form of purpose to emerge. These cycles of strong specific action followed by periods of not knowing what the hell is going on are natural for a man who is shedding layers of karma in his relaxation into truth.

But when do you know it’s time to let go of something and move on?

Among the signs of fulfilling or completing a layer of purpose are these:

1. You suddenly have no interest whatsoever in a project or mission that, just previously, motivated you highly.

2. You feel surprisingly free of any regrets whatsoever, for starting the project or for ending it.

3. Even though you may not have the slightest idea of what you are going to do next, you feel clear, unconfused, and, especially, unburdened.

4. You feel an increase in energy at the prospect of ceasing your involvement with the project.

5. The project seems almost silly, like collecting shoelaces or wallpapering your house with gas station receipts. Sure, you could do it, but why would you want to?

3 years ago, I started Life Coaches Blog with enthusiasm, fire, desire and a real hope to help the world and improve my life in the process. Today, I feel all 5 points Deida lists above when I think about this blog.

It’s not that I’ve lost my passion for personal growth – far from it. But my path of personal growth has moved away from Life Coaches Blog’s path, and so to move closer to my truth I must leave it behind. For one, it has become less and less truthful for me to write a blog called Life Coaches Blog, as I haven’t been a ‘life coach’ for the longest time.

It has also become less truthful as I believe less and less in the simplistic answers most ‘life coaches’ out there offer as the gospel truth. The more I’ve grown, the further I realize I’ve moved away from the original tone of this blog. And to try to offer simplistic formulas for personal growth that I no longer believe in for the sake of web traffic and the hope of earning a quick buck, would just be me lying to you, and me lying to myself. And for the sake of my own growth, down that path I cannot go.

Real growth takes time, thoughtfulness and effort, and cannot be achieved just by reading 7 easy tips. To attempt to sell you otherwise is simply lazy-ass thinking.

The Dip (When to Stick and When to Quit)

In his book The Dip, Seth Godin talks about the dip, the dead end, and how winners quit all the time; they just quit the right stuff at the right time. The difference lies in knowing the difference between a dip; the tough journey between the beginning and a worthwhile goal, and a dead end; where no matter how hard you slog you still end up going nowhere.

But when is the right time to quit? Godin proclaims that anytime you’re going to end up average, you might as well quit – because average is for losers.

Quitting at the right time is difficult. Most of us don’t have the guts to quit. Worse, when faced with the Dip, sometimes we don’t quit. Instead, we get mediocre.

The most common response to the Dip is to play it safe. To do ordinary work, blameless work, work that’s beyond reproach. When faced with the Dip, most people suck it up and try to average their way to success.

Which is precisely why so few people end up as the best in the world.

To be a superstar, you must do something exceptional.

Not just survive the Dip, but use the Dip as an opportunity to create something so extraordinary that people can’t help but talk about it, recommend it, and, yes, choose it.

The next time you catch yourself being average when you feel like quitting, realize that you have only two good choices: quit or be exceptional. Average is for losers.

Am I being too harsh? Isn’t your time and your effort and your career and your reputation too valuable to squander on just being average? Average feels safe, but it’s not. It’s invisible. It’s the last choice – the path of least resistance. The temptation to be average is just another kind of quitting…the kind to be avoided. You deserve better than average.

If I’m truthful to myself, I’ve made Life Coaches Blog just average. And in order for me to become more powerful, I have to let go of the things that give me less returns than the power I put in.

In a life with finite time and energy, I find myself saying no more and more the more I realize what’s truly important to me. The enemy of the great is truly not the bad, but the good, as choices become more refined and require greater awareness at that level. It’s easier to say yes to ice-cream versus a dish of rubbish, but harder to make the choice when you love both vanilla and chocolate flavors.

Letting go of less important and more average work frees me up to do the work that truly matters – my very best creative work. And that’s powerful.

To Live, to Love, to Learn, to Leave a Legacy

In his book First Things First, Stephen Covey writes about the four human needs.

The essence of these needs is captured in the phrase ‘to live, to love, to learn, to leave a legacy.’ The need to live is our physical need for such things as food, clothing, shelter, economic well-being, health. The need to love is our social need to relate to other people, to belong, to love, to be loved. The need to learn is our mental need to develop and to grow. And the need to leave a legacy is our spiritual need to have a sense of meaning, purpose, personal congruence, and contribution.

Life Coaches Blog served my spiritual need for meaning and contribution for the last 3 years, by giving me the chance to write and give away over 400 free personal development articles that have helped people, and by dedicating Life Coaches Blog’s profits to charity.

The thing about love, is that its not just about a connection to others but also about a connection to oneself – about how connected you are to your own heart. My heart tells me that it’s not enough to want to leave a legacy; it’s about leaving a legacy that you can be proud of.

I don’t want to leave behind mediocrity. And in a way I can’t really explain with the power of words, my heart tells me that if I continue with Life Coaches Blog I will be heading down an average path. The journey has been good, but I’ve gone as far as I can go here. And when I look at going down a new path, it is this path that my heart tells me is the path with heart.

I will be closing down Life Coaches Blog by stopping all posting, but I’ll still leave the site up. I still get comments and thanks for articles that are in the archives, and as long as they remain useful to someone I’ll be leaving them up to serve as my own little legacy.

Thank You

I want to thank all the life coaches who have contributed articles for Life Coaches Blog. Your contributions are all appreciated, and I deeply apologize for not being able to publish all of them. I should have been quicker and much more frequent in my replies, and for being inefficient and seemingly aloof, I’m sorry.

So, to Brenda Tung, Carey Powell, Chrissy Scivicque, David B. Bohl, Eleutherios, Jeanine Austin, Jeff Cleveland, Josh Perez, Karen Parsons, Paiboon Busayarak, Pete Tan, Rick Cook, Shelley Stile, Todd Goldfarb and Wang Yezhong, I thank you deeply – Life Coaches Blog could never have been as successful as it got without your help.

Create a Blog You Can Be Proud of

If I may give my contributors some advice – you don’t need anyone else to publish your articles for you. Create your own blog. I’m guessing it’s a lack of technical familiarity that’s holding some of you back – well, with free and easy to use software like Wordpress and support forums, it’s not too hard. Or, use a host like Site5 that helps you install Wordpress with the click of a few buttons, then customize it from any number of free Wordpress themes.

As to how to create a blog you can be proud of, read Steve Pavlina’s How to Build a High-Traffic Web Site (or Blog) and How to Make Money From Your Blog posts. I suggest my own 9 Keys to Building a Blog You Can Be Proud Of. Watch Merlin Mann’s video on How to Blog. Think about what they say. A lot. And then just do it. You won’t be perfect from the get-go but you’ll learn most from doing.

The Next Step

So what’s ahead? I still love writing, and I still love personal growth, so if you want to follow me on my journey you can follow me at the new 21 Dragons. It’s not a personal development blog per se, although it does have personal growth posts like The Beginner’s Mind Sucks But You Still Need It, A Letter to a Young Colleague and Personal Growth is a Choice.

Instead, it’s more a personal blog than anything really, which is why you’ll find sudden thoughts on marketing like The New MacBook’s Story, riffs on internet marketing like Before Making Large Bags of Money Online and muses on design like Apple & The Essence of Simplicity.

It’s also more snarky and contains some swearing, so it’s a little different from Life Coaches Blog It’s a real hodgepodge of my interests, and definitely not a ‘targeted, niche blog’. And that’s perfectly fine with me, as I explain in Why 21 Dragons Exists that I’m doing this for fun not profit (if you’re wondering about the name, check out What Does ‘21 Dragons’ Mean?). And I’m happy and excited and inspired to be doing it.

Which, I’m beginning to think, is the best reason to do anything.

I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a swell idea to me

Unfortunately, that idea never materialized as I became caught up in life and work.

A few of the personal development bloggers I’d started to email had already replied me though, and I’d always felt sorry to have their work languish in my email.

So this is what I thought I’d do: share the idea online, and if anyone else is keen to do it they can pick up the idea and run with it.

If you’re reading this and are keen on doing this ebook, here’s what I have for you. These are the replies that some personal development bloggers have already shared with me, please be so kind to include them in the ebook.

And to all those who submitted their contributions to me: I’m sorry I let this slip. It was my fault. If someone decides to go through with this ebook I hope it makes a difference to the personal development blogging community.

Lessons Shared by Personal Development Bloggers

David Seah

“I use my own life story as a vehicle for expressing my ideas as they become clear to me. I write from this perspective because I love hearing about how other people have solved their problems. I appreciate the spirit of camaraderie and friendship that accompanies their storytelling and advice. This in turn has inspired me to be generous with my best ideas, my personal insights, and the weird tools I’ve designed. I’m passing it forward. I try to maintain this spirit of generosity on my blog, and a certain percentage of like-minded people respond. And ultimately, they are the ones I am writing for: the positive-minded, conscientious, creative, and kind-hearted people that make this world so awesome. We can all use a little boost from time to time, and if I can help provide that, I think I am doing my job as a blogger.”

Chris Marshall from Martial Development

“Don’t publish anything on your blog that you wouldn’t write on a job application; because, someday, your blog might be your job application.”

Halina from Inner Travel Journal

“The Internet is already full of personal development blogs. Who needs another one? Do you? Well I hope you do! I hope you blog because it brings you new insights, it helps you grow, it fills you with excitement and joy. If it does, it will also resonate with others and motivate them to participate in discussions and to spread the word about your work. Happy Blogging!”

Maria Palma from The Good Life

“Share your life experiences with your blog readers. People like stories that they can relate to.”

Liz Strauss from Successful Blog

“The biggest lesson I’ve learned is to have a beginner’s mind about everything. Beginners are truly curious about the human condition, positive about every new bit of information, and always willing to listen.”

David Zinger from Die Happy Today

“My best advice is not mine but from the Buddha who said: we must be a lamp unto ourselves. Don’t cultivate a Zen Habit, don’t bop like a Boing Boing, don’t copy Copyblogger. In fact, don’t try to be anything other than who you are. Be yourself as much as you can possible be, and then be it a little more, and the power of your authentic voice will enliven your writing and make your content more compelling.”

lexander Kjerulf from Positive Sharing

“Find the fun. Blogging requires openness, generosity, creativity and zest. If blogging is a chore for you, you will never do it well. When, where and how is blogging so much fun for you, that you just can’t help but do it? I blog in a neighborhood café in the early mornings. And you?”

Alex Shalman

“Being a personal development blogger is a huge responsibility. By declaring that you are blogging about personal development, and following through in your articles, you are indirectly implying that you are in it for the people. The possibility that I have created for myself and my life is the possibility of being someone who operates with the greatest good of all in mind. It is important to figure out what your own possibility is, than be, do, and have. The rest will fall into place.”

Ashley Cecil

“My advice to your readers is ask themselves what is it that they have to offer the world via the blogoshere that no one does? Readers can only absorb so much pop-culture gossip and personal interpretations of existing news. Be a unique voice and be consistent about your frequency of posting. If you want professional results from your blog, take it seriously, be innovative, respond to useful feedback and watch your analytics. Oh, and screen your comments.”

Alvin Soon from Life Coaches Blog

“Help one person with your blog. Keep your focus on that, and the rest will follow.”

Adam Kayce from Monk at Work

“Above all, don’t forget why you got into this business in the first place; take care of your self and your own mindset, and the rest will joyously follow.”

When you combine the principles, you get the secondary principles of personal development; Truth combined with Love gives you Oneness, Love and Power combine to give you Courage and Truth with Power gives you Authority. All together, the six principles combine to give you the seventh core principle of personal development: Intelligence.

Steve says that these core principles are universal and cannot be broken down into smaller chunks. I’ve been thinking that if these truly are the core principles of personal development, then their inverse should also be true.

Personal Atrophy for Foolish People

The core principles of personal atrophy, as opposed to personal development, should then be Falsehood, Apathy and Powerlessness.

When you refuse to face the truth, you deceive yourself and live in falsehood, also known as denial.

The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s apathy. When you hate, you’re still polarized, but when you’re apathetic you can’t even get yourself to care enough to hate, much less love.

And when you’re powerless, you can hardly muster any ability to change your life.

The more you direct your life towards Falsehood, Apathy and Powerlessness, the more you’ll regress in your life instead of improve.

The secondary principles of personal atrophy are Separation, Timidity and Submission.

When you live in denial and can’t be bothered to care, you feel separated from your life, your surroundings and other living beings.

When you’re powerlessness and apathetic, you live life timidly because you don’t believe you have the power to overcome challenges, and you lack the motivation to even try.

Living in denial and powerlessness causes you to live in submission, or passivity. Instead of being the power in your life, you allow yourself to bow down to circumstances.

The six principles of personal atrophy in their totality become foolishness. Whereas moving towards Truth, Love and Power is a more intelligent way to live your life, moving towards Falsehood, Apathy and Powerlessness is a foolish way to spend it.

Personal Development Vs. Personal Atrophy

I’m not looking to add on to Steve’s book here, I think he did a pretty good job of it already.

I offer the principles of personal atrophy as food for thought, and whereas the seven core principles of personal development are a good gauge to aim for, the seven core principles of personal atrophy can serve as warning signs to tell you where you don’t want to go.

P.S. By the way, I didn’t consult The Steve when I made this…I wonder if I nailed it. What do you think?

P.P.S. After emailing The Steve, I changed ‘Fear’ to ‘Timidity’; Steve reminded me that Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but acting in spite of it. I also changed ‘Weakness’ to ‘Submission’, which also makes sense as the opposite of Authority.

P.P.P.S. After thinking more and more about it, I think Steve nailed it in his book. Especially since the inverse principles seem to hold true as well.

Her life is dedicated to serving others through education. She believes that the path out of poverty (including her own); an existence of few choices and few resources, is paved through learning.

I would like to share with you the story about Miguelina because it can inspire us to do more with what we have and teach us that keeping the faith works!

For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Karen Parsons I am Founder and President of Successful Solutions Life Coaching.

In 2002, my husband and I fulfilled our dream of moving to a tropical island. The Dominican Republic has now been our home for the past 6 years.

When I moved here I could not speak Spanish, so I asked around and several people told me to go to the Coral Language Institute in the Dominican Village. The Dominican Village is where many of the local Dominicans live, just slightly inland from the beach town in which I live. They live there because most of the locals cannot afford to live across the street on the ocean side where expensive condominiums are going up at dizzying speed.

When I first went to the school I met Gustavo, the head of the language school and Miguelina his wife who was to be my teacher. As soon as I entered the school, on the dusty dirt road of the Dominican Village, I was so glad that I had decided not to attend the touristy and expensive language school that I had also been referred to. This to me was authentic, the real thing, I was going to learn Spanish from real locals!

Little did I know at the time that Miguelina and I would forge a very special relationship that continues to this day.

First, I have to give you a little background on Miguelina. She grew up in this same Dominican Village. She was the youngest of 18 children! Since she was a little girl she would ask herself the question, “what do I want to do with my life?” She knew that she didn’t want to live the same type of life as her parents or the people in her community; most of them couldn’t read or write and were very poor.

Even at her young age she was able to see that there were other possibilities. Instinctively, she knew that if she could educate herself and learn English then she could change her destiny and the destiny of the people in her community. She said, “no one else was helping them”.

She wasn’t sure exactly how she was going to do it, but she knew she needed money to help achieve her dreams. So at 8-years old she started selling apples, oranges and avocadoes on the side of the road.

She continued to work, go to school and save her money. She was an excellent student who worked very hard.

When she was 13 years old she began in her spare time to teach her nieces and nephews the little bit of English she had learned.

At age 15 she started to teach other children after school (school in the Dominican Republic is only 3 1/2 hours per day) and received 10 pesos per child per week, which is approximately 30 cents, but some parents couldn’t afford to pay even this.

Regardless, Miguelina kept at it, all the while sensing that the younger children of her community were missing out on a very important opportunity to learn. There was no such thing as pre-school, so she decided to start one.

I don’t think Miguelina set out with the intention to become one of the most inspirational people in her community but she did know exactly how she was going to help others, by educating them.

She asked her dad if she could use an old property that he had so she could teach the children there. He agreed and in two small shacks with leaky roofs, dirt floors and discarded appliances in the playground, the Escuela Centro de Ensenanza Coral was born!

The Dominican Republic School

Life continued, she graduated high school, got married and started to have a family of her own. The school was still going strong, more and more parents were enrolling their kids in the preschool. Unfortunately, Miguelina had to start turning them away as the two shacks couldn’t hold anymore students.

However, Miguelina’s dream didn’t end there, instead it expanded. She decided to build an elementary school with classes through to grade 6 with real classrooms and resources. She and Gustavo had managed to save enough money to buy some land next to where they lived and whenever they had any extra money they would buy cement blocks.

Slowly, one block at a time construction began and then stopped when they had no more money, and then began and stopped again, and began and stopped again. It was a heart wrenching process not knowing from one week to the next if they would have enough money for the next stage of construction.

Even though the odds of building the school seemed stacked against them, Miguelina was undeterred. She had an unwavering faith in the “Higher Power”. Through her hard work, dedication and generous support of a few dedicated foreigners who have been touched by Miguelina’s quest, she received enough money to finish the school!

The new school opened in September 2005. Even though the building was mostly a shell, with no windows and doors, the beauty of the dream and the obvious learning that was taking place was apparent as soon as you walked through the door.

The first day of school at the new Dominican Republic School.

Since September 2005 the school has had windows and doors donated. All of the classrooms are colorfully painted. There are four working toilets instead of the original one. A new school playground was donated and the school now has 12 teachers and a full time volunteer!

Of course, it is not utopia; everyday presents a new challenge. Fortunately, a sponsorship program that Miguelina and I implemented a few years ago is helping. It came about because many of the parents whose children go to the school fall on hard times, they lose their job, they become disabled or in several cases the father dies and they no longer have enough income to pay for the tuition.

My friends and family who have visited the school all agree that Miguelina is a living angel and in every case they have shared the story with their friends and asked them to sponsor. The sponsorship program has been a success thus far. Many are empathetic to the plight of the Dominican children and want to help.

Miguelina, the angel of Dominican Republic School.

These are indeed very lucky children who will have a far better chance of changing their future and the future of their country with their education.

2008 graduation was a joyous occasion with all students moving onto the next grade with the exception of two children who will be moving forward in January. This is no small feat when you consider the Dominican Republic’s dismal track record in education.

According to a report released during the Global Education Forum, most students in the Dominican educational system aren’t getting the basic educational tools needed to succeed. When Miguelina accepts new children into her school from the public school system, often the children don’t even know how to read.

I had the privilege one night at the request of Miguelina to help some of her English students at the Coral Language Institute (the language school her husband runs out of one of the classrooms). I was asked to interview ten of her students, a group of young women aged 15 to 25, and then give her an assessment on how they were conversing in English.

Wow, to listen to what these young ladies wanted to do with their lives was inspiring: lawyers, doctors, police officers, tourism and more and they all believed they could do it! You have to understand that these young women mostly come from parents who have very little formal education past grade 6 and started having babies in their teens because they didn’t know any other way. Also, prostitution is legal in the Dominican Republic and the inherent beauty of Dominican people makes prostitution an easy choice for them.

That night really opened my eyes to the difference that Miguelina was making. Through her example of aspiring to be more she was teaching her students that there can be more to their life than prostitution or having babies in their teens. Her commitment to education is an inspiration to these children.

She is a very busy person with four young children of her own, she runs her school, she is a teacher at the school in the afternoon and teaches English at her husband’s school in the evenings. Even with this schedule she managed to finish her degree last summer. She now has her Bachelor of Education and is now pursuing her Masters and travels 4 hours every Saturday to attend University! She is the only one in her family to finish high school!

Miguelina and her family live very humbly; any extra money goes into subsidizing the school for the many children whose parents cannot afford to consistently pay the US$18.00 monthly tuition.

Her next goal is to build a second floor on the school so she can accept more children. They had begun construction but unfortunately ran out of funds. I am confident that with their track record so far, they will succeed!

Dominican Republic new private school.

I was compelled to share this story with you because most of us have so much but yet we complain that it is not enough.

Miguelina has done so much with so little.

Can you imagine with our resources what we could achieve if we wanted to?

I know that many of you are trying to create a better world for your self and others but keeping the faith can be very difficult to do when life seems to be throwing so many roadblocks in your way.

I can tell you with confidence, from personal experience and the knowledge gained by my clients’ experiences, that if you want to achieve your dreams keeping the faith is the only option!

On a long journey of human life, faith is the best of companions; it is the best refreshment on the journey; and it is the greatest property.
– The Buddha

Step 1. Become Aware

In a relaxed position, with your eyes closed, picture yourself being stressed. In your mind’s eye, go through every stress symptom that you have.

Feel yourself being stressed. It is imperative that the visualization is very real with powerful emotions attached to it.

Now picture yourself becoming aware that you are stressed. You are now the Observer of your behavior. You see your symptoms but your perception of them is of something separate from you.

It is like a miniature awakening!

You begin to feel empowered because as the Observer you realize that you can change how you are feeling!

Visualize yourself calming down and feeling relaxed.

Feel your stress dissipating!

You are now able to go about your day in a mindful and productive manner.

Finally, tell yourself that the next time you are feeling this way it will be your clue that you are stressed. And you will once again become the Observer of your feelings and use these Stress Relief Tips to overcome your stress.

This was just the dress rehearsal but a very important part of this exercise.

These stress relief tips are helping you train yourself to become more aware!

Step 2. Breathe Deeply

Now go about your day normally, and the next time you experience one of your stress symptoms stop what you are doing and make a conscious choice to transform these debilitating feelings.

Close your eyes, sit back in your chair and take ten deep cleansing breaths.

Breath is life.

When we are stressed, our breathing becomes shallow and labored. This translates into our life being shallow and labored at that moment.

Inhale through your nose and exhale through your nose.

This may be difficult for some of you but do your best to go with it. The benefits are worth it!

When you inhale through your nose your breath is being filtered and warmed as it enters the body. When you exhale through the nose it slows down your breathing, creating a more relaxed breathing pattern. In yoga, it is sometimes said that you use your mouth for eating and your nose for breathing.

If you don’t feel your symptoms dissipating and your stress evaporating it means that you aren’t breathing properly. Don’t do this exercise if you are just going to go through the motions. Take the time to do ten deep and cleansing breathes.

They should be unforced; when you are done you should definitely feel more peaceful.

If you are driving or with someone or for any other reason unable to close your eyes and stop what you are doing, you can still relax and de-stress yourself; simply by turning your attention inwards. Focus on your breath.

If you are speaking, focus your attention on your words, feel yourself slowing down, feel yourself becoming more present.

If you are listening to someone speak then focus your attention on the other person, on his or her words, what do their words really mean?

If you are reading, slow down, look at each word on the page, absorb them.

The bottom line is:

Focus your attention on what it is that you are doing at that moment!

Step 3. Reflect

After the ten deep breathes and while still sitting in your chair (or as soon as possible afterward) with your eyes closed, reflect on why you were feeling stressed.

Trace each thought and connecting thought until you get to the source of your anxiety. If you have trouble remembering, don’t be hard on yourself, it will become easier with practice.

The next time you feel the tension coming back, stop what you are doing, but this time, analyze the cause of your anxiety before you do your ten deep breathes.

Be honest with yourself.

Sometimes we know what has caused our problems but the reasons may seem embarrassing to us or scary and we prefer to leave it to live in the subconscious.

Now with the thoughts clearly in your mind let us move onto the next part of the Stress Relief Tips.

Step 4. Live in the Now

It is time to examine the thoughts; to look at them as the Observer, unemotionally and detached from them.

Most of us become stressed for one of two reasons:

We are thinking of the past, or we are thinking of the future.

It’s true! When you explore your feelings, you will see that you were worried about being late for something, not meeting a deadline, worried about your health or someone else’s. Worried about the state of the world, fearful of losing your job, afraid of not having enough money and so on.

You were thinking of the future. Or you were thinking about how you should have done this or should have done that, you are mad at your boss or spouse or parents for something in your past. You are angry because of being wronged in your past. You are upset because of how you went off of your diet. If only I did this or said that then none of this would have happened and so on.

You are thinking in the past.

When you become mindful of the present moment, your stress disappears.

Now that you are aware of the thoughts that are at the root of your tension; what are you going to about them?

Some of you may have more success if you write them down. Some of you may not take the time, so just thinking about them is fine.

As you reflect on each thought, come up with a solution.

If you are worried about money, what is it that you can do right now to help with your financial issues? Can you write up a budget for yourself, can you go ask your boss for a raise? How can you simplify your life so you can spend less money? How can you become more efficient and productive, freeing up more time to earn extra money?

If you are worried about not sticking to your diet, what can you do right now that will help? If you are upset because of feeling wronged in your past, what practices can you undertake to work on your anger and resentment?

How can you move on?

Alleviating your stress requires a transformation of your thoughts!

This transformation may take some time but the journey begins with awareness. When you use these stress relief tips you will gradually become more conscious of what has triggered your stress.

You don’t need to be alone on your journey. I am here to help!

Join the consciousness revolution that is underway!

I hope these stress relief tips were helpful!

It is a reality that we all live with.

This is why we need to have different mechanisms in place for coping with stress. The challenge for most of us is actually being cognizant of when we are stressed. It is such an habitual state for us to be in, that most of the time we don’t even know when we are in it!

We all have distinctive and personal indicators that we manifest when we are feeling stressed. What are yours?

Physical symptoms are the most obvious:

Do you bite your nails?

Do you perspire?

Do you clench your teeth?

Do you get a headache or feel your neck muscles getting tight?

Maybe you don’t have any obvious physical symptoms because your signs are more intangible.

Do you feel overwhelmed?

Do you get anxious?

Maybe you are irritable?

Maybe afraid?

Do you get curt with people because you are frustrated with what you perceive as their ineptness?

If you want to cope with your stress then you need to recognize what types of behavior you exhibit while in a “stressful state” and which situations trigger these behaviors.

Step 1. Contemplate on what your significant symptoms are when you are feeling stressed. List as many as possible.

Step 2. Go through each point and reflect on it. Write down in as much detail as possible the situations that usually trigger these stressors.

Step 3. Now think about whether you actually have the desire and discipline to do something about it. Even though we may be aware of the fact that we are stressed; we can get so wrapped up in the drama of it all that we just go with it.

In some ways it seems easier to let the “snowball of stress” continue to gain momentum instead of employing our force of will to stop it.

If you are honest with yourself, you may come to the conclusion that you are not committed to changing.

Being “stressed out” is a way of life for you. It is all you know, you are good at it!

What if you embark on this new path of “less stress” and you fail. Fear of failure and fear of change are natural human responses.

The real failure comes when we let fear stop us.