In Part 1 I talked about the principle that makes the difference in the quality of communication: seek first to understand, then seek to be understood. In Part 2 I revealed why knowing the principl alone isn’t enough, and the 3 distinct ways you need to know how the prinicple works, and how each area [...]

This is a special sidenote for NLP practitioners, but if you’re not one, keep out! Out I say! Are you sure you’re one? Still sure? Ok I want to say something especially for beginning NLP practitioners, a lot of whom I know are visiting from the Akltg programs which I help coach (hi guys!). Way [...]

In Empathy Before Solutions Part 1, I revealed the principle that helped me realize what I was doing wrong to piss people off, and helped me gain rapport and coach more effectively. In Part 2, I’m going to focus on what goes wrong when people good-naturedly offer solutions and suggestions to people but somehow the [...]

I used to be an asshole. Without really knowing why or how, or even noticing it, I stumbled through most of my teenage and young adult life stepping on people’s toes and hurting their feelings without even knowing it. It wasn’t that I didn’t care. I cared a lot, and I always liked to help [...]

A recent online conversation (wink wink) has made me remember one of my pet peeves; how frustrating it can be to have a conversation online. You ever had that? Someone leaves a message on a forum, on MSN, a blog comment, and you have no idea whether the person is kidding or serious, joking or [...]