9 Keys to Overcoming Difficult Times

Lately, I’ve had to deal with a lot of changes happening in my personal life. At first, describing them to my friends, I kept calling them endings, but afterward I began to feel as if it was a process of renewal. There is a Chinese saying that goes ‘if the old doesn’t go, the new cannot come’. Keeping that in mind, I’ve begun to view these difficult events as a shedding of things for me to grow forward, and so I’ve come to call them ‘changes’ instead of ‘endings’.

Difficult as it may, I know a friend who is also going through some tough changes of his own. This post is really for him because I want to share with him some tools I’ve found to be useful for me in managing my emotional state to navigate through the difficult times. I’m prone to worry and depression myself so I’ve had to learn how to pull myself through, and the beliefs and techniques from NLP and Solutions Focused Brief Therapy have helped tremendously.

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A Smile can bring you further than a Mile

It’s been a month since I came back from my Cambodia expedition. But I can still see the smiles of the children vividly and hear them laughing heartily in my ears. Oh gosh, I do miss them a lot.

The smiles they wear on their faces are so different from what I see back here where I lived. It’s not the kind of smile you see from a colleague from another department along the corridor nor is it the kind of smile you get from a distant relative at a family gathering. They are smiles that warm your heart, smiles that brighten your days and smiles that you want to see again and again. (more…)

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A PONDering Moment in Evolution

When was the last time you decide that you have to change something about or around you? How did you decide to change?

There were something that you decided at a certain point that you want to do more of, to have less of, to move away from, to go towards to…you decided that you deserve more, you are going to stay away from…you are sick of it, you are tired, fed up, irritated, frustrated, peeved, and what else not!?

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How has it been a great year?

After reading on somebody’s blog that she had a great year, I started thinking to myself, ‘Did I have a great year?’

Being a somewhat critical person, I realized this was the wrong question to ask because it could only have a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer, and my critical voice said ‘no’.

Ok. Restart.

I knew if I wanted a more quality answer I needed to ask a better quality question.

So I applied the ‘What if’ frame and asked myself, ‘What if this has been a great year? What would have made it great?’ Following Paiboon’s post, I came up with 3 highlights for myself: (more…)

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How has it been a great year?

After reading on somebody’s blog that she had a great year, I started thinking to myself, ‘Did I have a great year?’

Being a somewhat critical person, I realized this was the wrong question to ask because it could only have a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer, and my critical voice said ‘no’.

Ok. Restart.

I knew if I wanted a more quality answer I needed to ask a better quality question.

So I applied the ‘What if’ frame and asked myself, ‘What if this has been a great year (more…)

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Don’t Say What You Mean!

What do I mean when I said “Don’t say what you mean”
What I mean is “Say What You Want!!!”
One of my friends made major purchase as a present for himself (e.g. new shirts, watches, etc.) after series of hard work to achieve certain goals. Listen to how my friend response to his friend comment’s
His friend comment: “Wohh.. You got a lot of money and really rich Huh.” (With sarcastic tonality)
He responded: “Oh… no no no lah… I just …” (With shy tonality) (more…)

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Thinking Negative

David Seah has a hilarious post over at his blog, ‘Thinking Negative’ that’s giving me some ideas on how to write my future posts:

“No no no, that’s not how it works.” the ghost said impatiently. “If you’d had any real talent, it would have manifested itself—at the latest—by your 21st birthday. Too bad you didn’t do more work in high school and college…that might have made up for your dearth of talent, and you could have gone to a really good grad school. Then you might have had a shot. But no…I want to find my passion…” The ghost minced around in a circle, hands waving in mock panic. “I need to know my purpose in life! I’m a maverick! I’m a lone wolf!” (more…)

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Try: Being in Limbo

In some LGAT (Large Group Awareness Training) and indeed in many coaching methodology, the word TRY is somewhat like a banned word. Many like to quote the green guru of 800 years old of the Star Wars fame:

“Do, or do not. There is no TRY!”
Yoda said it right.

The argument is that TRY presupposes the possibility of failing. Many organizations have already dropped “trial and error” to put in place “test and measure” for the same reason.

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My little amendment to The Million Dollar Intention

Yesterday morning as I was heading out I felt uneasy doing the Million Dollar Intention. I think the stress I had been feeling from work had worked itself into my morning and interfered with the usual feeling of relaxed focus I get into while doing the intention*.

I was wondering what was missing, and it hit me. The last couple of days before I had been brooding over what I wanted more of in my life, and I realized it was love and happiness. Was this uneasy feeling a message from my unconscious that my intention for manifesting was incomplete? So in the Million Dollar Intention I slotted in an extra intention (in bold):

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Prognosticating Procrastination

I wanted to write about Procrastination. You know, the big P word that people have blamed for everything and anything. So many people have written about it…the personal effectiveness people, the Getting-Things-Done camp, the procrastination busters and it makes me wonder if I can offer anything different. So I joined the union.

The Procrastinator United couldn’t take off as a collective force coz I saw the sign when I arrive:

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