Once in a while, I get snarky comments on Life Coaches Blog. Now, criticism can be a good thing when they help me clarify my thoughts and see things from a different perspective. But I’m talking about comments that do nothing but attack what you write without offering anything of value.
To these people I say; what have you created lately?
It’s far easier to destroy something, especially if it’s someone else’s work, then to make something good of your own.
When you commit your thoughts on a public forum like a blog for a couple of years running, I can guarantee you there will be things you write that you’re going to feel embarrassed about much later. It’s a given, in fact, the more you’re committed to personal growth, the more it’ll happen, because the faster your perceptions will change.
But that’s the price you pay for putting yourself out there and I don’t regret it one bit. Far better for me to do, fall on my face and learn making something than to sit back and launch tirades against people.
Imagined Pride is Always Safe
I know that negative mindset well, because it was one of my faults. I have a critical mind, and I used to enjoy poking holes in other people’s work while imaging how much people I could do it. But one day I realized that I was just feeding my ego with fantasies, because my imagined works always have a perfect reception in my head, while doing something for real means I could make mistakes and be wrong.
To stay honest with myself was to align myself with the truth that to earn the right to really criticize someone’s work, I had to prove that I could do it better. If I think someone doesn’t write well, then I should write better. If I think someone doesn’t have a valid point, then I should offer a better point. If I think someone isn’t doing a good job, then I should come up with some suggestions.
Like a saying I’ve heard somewhere goes; ‘what’s missing is what you’re not giving.’
When I started doing this, I realized I was shifting my awareness from looking at negatives to focusing on the positives; not what is wrong but what can I do instead? And that focus away from the irritation, hate and annoyance has led to a much happier place of awareness, possibility and positivity.
Are You Adding to the Mix or Taking Away?
So what are you bringing to the table? Is it something that adds to people’s lives or does it just try to take without giving? If you think you can do better, then get in the game and prove it. The more value you create in the world, the better it will be for everyone in it, myself included.
July 28th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
Amen!
Heavy hearts are truly of a burden.
Keep up with what you’re doing, true confidence comes from within and not from without
July 29th, 2008 at 12:37 am
We can’t let people be the measure of our success. Keep going.
July 29th, 2008 at 7:34 am
It is unfortunate that one of the main side effects of a broken spirit, is to become negative and critical. When someone criticizes, especially needlessly, it is simply a cry for attention. Nothing more, nothing less. Great post. I have a good one on forgiveness.
You might enjoy it.
http://www.pd4free.com/2008/06/30/the-power-of-forgiveness/
August 7th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Alvin, I don’t remember where I read this but “success breeds jealousy”. This is a fact of life, isn’t? I look at every great work and I find attached to it who I call the “what if”, “yes but”, “maybe if”, “so what?”, “that is easy, I can do it”, “are you stupid/serious?” PEOPLE. You can tell they not only have a heavily distorted map of the world but a great generalization skill. Keep up the great writing, Alvin.
August 19th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Alvin, why not play with the “I’m an ass. You’re an ass. So what’s the problem?” approach, as hilariously outlined in the late Anthony De Mello’s book, Awareness?
A lot of pompous asses become well, just asses, once the pomp and circumstance covers are removed.
August 20th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
I hadn’t thought of it that way Mark, but that is pretty hilarious