Walker, there is no path. The path is made by walking.
~ Antonio Machado
Sometimes, the benefit of having walked the rocky path is being able to help someone else avoid one.
My youngest brother’s just graduated from secondary school, and is choosing the next path to take in his life. Will he follow the path of his earlier 2 brothers and chose to study design, or will he take a different path? My other brother and I just spent the last 2 hours giving him advice and sharing our experiences.
It’s 12:44 in the morning, I’m tired, starting to have a headache and have to wake up early for work tomorrow, but it was worth it.
In telling our stories, I realized both my brother and I have made our choices in life, and not all of them have been perfect choices. That’s human after all. I told my youngest brother that he could take our advice or not, but in the end to remember that there are never any guarantees. He could follow our advice to the letter, but that doesn’t guarantee success. He could also disregard everything we said, but that doesn’t guarantee failure.
He has to make his own choices, because he’s the one who has to live through those choices.
Good advice I could have used about 12 years ago myself, I think 
I think a lot of us like to imagine about other people’s perfect lives. About how picture-perfect, clean, well-mapped, spotlessly successful and all-around shiny somebody’s life is.
But the truth is that life is messy. Our paths resemble zig-zags more than straight lines. Moods come in seasons and have more than one flavor. Sometimes we bust our butts and we still don’t get what we want. Life can be tough.
The more we can accept that there are no perfect people the easier it will be for us to accept our own imperfections - yes, we will screw up, yes, there will be times we do outrageously stupid things. But forgive, learn and move on. Move on.
Allow for periods of down-time. Allow for times of not-knowing. Allow for not being productive, Zen or empowered. Allow for times of not being perfect, just being human and doing the best you can do to just take that next step.
To be honest, I’m tired. My life has been a winding one and I haven’t reached the level I thought I would when I started out. There are times I wonder outright how I could have the audacity to share with others how to create a greater life for themselves - when I should be working on me! Walk the talk, then lead the way.
(Not to say that my life isn’t good, in fact I’m very grateful for the immense blessings already in my life. I just want things to be much better.)
It’s this fear of being found out for not being perfect, for not having the credentials behind my name, that’s caused me so many doubts. But I feel it’s time to leave those fears behind, and just tell you; hey, I’m human, and I’m not perfect. If you think that’s nonsense, I’m sorry. If you don’t, well, I hope you find something of value here.
And I’m confused. I wonder if Life Coaches Blog would ever take off. Right now I’m feeling like it can’t. I’m doing it because there are still things I want to share, a legacy I want to build, so that if I ever leave it I would leave it proud. I’m working on another project but it’s taking the darnest to get off the ground.
I take it being tired, scared and confused are not good things for a personal development blogger should admit to. But I’m telling you now, I feel them just like you do. So perhaps that’s how I know your path - and how we can all help each other walk it - because we’re all on the same one.
January 30th, 2008 at 4:12 am
Sounds better in Spanish: “Caminante no hay camino, se hace camino al andar”
So true! Great post, very insightful.
January 30th, 2008 at 5:04 am
Ups and downs, that’s how life is. It’s natural.
Accept that. Nothing lasts. This will pass as well.
Everything is impermanence.
Thank you for sharing.
I’m walking with you along the path.
January 30th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
“I take it being tired, scared and confused are not good things for a personal development blogger should admit to.”
Personally, I think that the number one criteria for a blogger is honesty (and oh… pretty much number one for being human as well).
And this post is the first step of the way ahead.
*thumbs up*
January 31st, 2008 at 4:56 am
I agree that I prefer honesty. I is how I write my own blog and it is what I expect from those bloggers whose sites I visit. I think we teach best by example. I enjoy all of your articles because you are human by showing your honesty and humity.
February 5th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Thanks everyone! I’m doing my best to keep it real and live a happy life, just like all of you
February 11th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Thanks for everything (i mean articles and stuff) Alvin.
It helps me understand life a lot better. And keep writing
February 12th, 2008 at 12:06 am
Thanks Jansen, truth be told, I’m figuring life out just like everyone else.
February 13th, 2008 at 4:22 am
Hi Alvin
This is my first visit here.
I really appreciate your honesty.
I do believe that every step and choice is perfect, only it’s not the kind of perfect that we imagine. It’s the real perfect - the perfect step on the perfect road.
Which brings me to the reflection your post triggered in me: I believe that most people would agree that some of the most challenging and difficult and painful experiences in their life also were the experiences that in the end made them who they are and contributed to some of the things they value the most in their present life.
Yet, as soon as we encounter someone else going through similar difficulties and pain we so much want them to not have those experiences.
We don’t want our loved ones to suffer - but we do we want them to live and grow, don’t we?
Halina
February 13th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
That’s very true Halina. I never want my loved ones to suffer, yet you can’t avoid suffering. And some strengths you can only forge from suffering, so the best you can do is what you mentioned: when life gives you lemons, you make lemonades.
Good comment