The term “science of happiness” implies there is a formula and that you can follow a scientific method of discovery to determine what makes you happy. The formula for “happy” for each of us is different because there are so many factors that contribute to individual happiness.
There’s the happiness we may feel in having a career that is going well. There’s the happiness we feel in being with people we love and can be ourselves with. There’s the happiness that comes from helping others – from going out of our way to do something, unasked, for someone else that improves their life or circumstances. And there’s a different kind of happiness we feel when we get the tax refund check in the mail or find a great positive error in our favor in the old checkbook.
Underlying the different levels and types of happiness, however, could be a complex set of circumstances that seem to chase rabbits before they settle into a strongly happy feeling. Somewhere, though, there is a formula, particular to each person, that combines the factors and components of life into an existence that is positive and fulfilling.
The fact is we all look for happiness in our lives, and the “formula” for being happy has many component parts. The basic formula has a work/career component, a self-esteem and identity component, and a family/friends component. As with any formula, each component may be present in different amounts.
For example, if you’re very involved in a career in business, whether in a large corporation or a small, family-run business, you’ll probably have a different work/career component than you will if you are an artist who spends most of your time working creatively with paint, clay or whatever, with little or no influence in your life coming from a corporate environment.
The self-esteem or identity component is often intertwined with the work/career component, which can make the formula a bit confusing at this point. The trick is to be able to separate what we do from who we are, and to understand what parts of each bring us happiness. That way we can shore up the parts of the formula that seem to need it.
There is also an all-important family/friends component, which probably represents the lion’s share of the formula because human beings simply need each other to be happy. Hemmingway wrote “no man is an island” and that statement has been quoted repeatedly since he wrote it. It is, however, true that few truly happy people can live in a world in isolation … and I rather believe that no one can — it’s just simply against human nature. So, it’s up to us to be motivated to do the things in our lives that support the family/friends component, to not let it get lost under the weight of the work/career component and to understand that creatively nurturing our relationships is one of the quickest ways to make ourselves happy and make it last.
Action items/bullets:
All of these components need to be present in our lives in the right quantities for each of us, and each one’s formula is different. Scientists can create simple or complex formulas that define happiness, but it remains hypothetical to many people. It’s really up to each person to weigh the components of their lives and apply the emphasis each requires based how they balance each other.
How can you contribute to your own formula for happiness?
- Know yourself and what defines fulfillment in your life,
- Identify your personal and professional goals,
- Honor what inspires you, and
- Recognize what supports your self-esteem and what you need to do to keep your relationships satisfying.
After all, the science of happiness is only complex if we fail to study our subject and understand what makes it tick.
Lifestyle Mentor, Personal Coach, Author, Educator, and Entrepreneur, David B. Bohl is the creator of Slow Down FAST. To learn more about this step-by-step strategy for Living YOUR Life YOUR way, and to sign up for his 9 FREE Tips for Finding Happiness in a Fast-Paced World, free teleseminars, free Special Report, free bi-monthly ezine and more, go to: http://www.SlowDownFAST.com and visit his blog Slow Down FAST Today! at http://www.slowdownfast.com/blog
© Copyright 2007 David B. Bohl. All rights reserved.
September 27th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
Inspiring post. But so far, I usually identify my goals and focus on achieving them. When I reach everything I desired, I always find out something new. A new goal I want to achieve. But I think our life should looks like that. It is probably boring to have no goals at all.
September 27th, 2007 at 10:21 pm
Sounds like you’re on the right track and enjoying teh jouney!
David
September 28th, 2007 at 7:14 am
i think my formula for happiness is
get laid every day, achieve career/academic success.
September 28th, 2007 at 8:52 am
Ian,
Sounds like you’ve defined for yourself both pleasure and happiness. I see the two as separate and distinct things.
Pleasure is a feeling that’s hard to define, illusive to find, and something that everyone strives to experience. We all look for ways to find enjoyment and gratification in our everyday lives.
Happiness is something different. It involves many things, including not only relationships that we have with others, but also learning and growing, self-realization/self-actualization/self-definition, reaching your highest potential and levels of creativity, and simply being contented with where you’re at and where you’re going.
You’ve described both – they’re your formulas for pleasure and happiness.
David
September 29th, 2007 at 12:57 am
In my opinion, pleasure is short-lived while happiness is a long-term pursuit. It not only involves ourselves, but it also bring joy and warmth to others.
September 29th, 2007 at 9:41 am
Kloudiia,
I would agree that pleasure and gratification do tend to be more short-lived than happiness and fulfillment.
David
September 30th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
If you’re happy you’re content with your life;
but if you’re you’re content with your life you become stale.
Staleness leads to discontent/unhappiness.
October 1st, 2007 at 5:20 am
Chris,
This applies to me, also. If I’m not learning and growing, I actually feel like I’m going backwards.
David
October 3rd, 2007 at 1:16 pm
Retrain your mind to focus on how you want to feel, and what you want to achieve.
Whether you coach yourself, have a mentor, engage a coach, or talk with your friends, the importance of knowing where you are going ensures your mind focuses, and allows your outcomes are achieved.
Structure a program to help you identify your goals, clarify the direction you need to travel, the steps you need to take to achieve your outcomes, and assist you to look at any blocks that may prevent you from achieving your goals.
Design your mind training program around your unique needs and requirements; be specific when customizing your program and review it at a major level at least each year with monthly checks planned.
You may wish to check if you can answer the following questions.
1. Can you speak confidently about the direction you wish to be traveling; i.e. your goals
2. If you were offered your goal today would you take it? i.e are your goals, intentions, and consequences aligned?
3. Are you able to identify your starting position? where you are now, be honest
4. Can you recognize and articulate the steps you need to that will carry you to your goal?
5. Have you searched for any blocks which may detract you from achieving your outcomes?
Hope you will find this useful.
October 12th, 2007 at 9:56 am
Happiness is you understand and really know what you want. You are living in the present and the past does not bother you.
Unless you can release and let of the past your happiness can be eternal. Many of us in reality are dragging our past to the future that is why many of us are still lost.
K Amber
Baby Steps To Extreme Mind Power
http://www.simplemindpower.com/blog/