Getting Rid of Blame & Hatred

In life, it’s inevitable that we will face some disappointments, rejections and frustrations, it’s all part and parcel of being alive.

Often, when we are faced with any rejections or disappointments, we are all too likely to take either the route of self-loathing, coming up with reasons to feel inadequate and hating ourselves for it, or start to heap blame on the other party. Both ways eventually lead to destructive behaviors.

By allowing that to happen, we effectively lose ownership of our core, halting our growth and capacity for love and thus leading to an unfulfilled life plagued with unhappiness and hate.

It is alright to feel angry, dejected and even hate, we are all too human, the important thing is we must find our own ways to channel these out and know that these are not the end. At the end of the day, we must still pick ourselves up and stand firm in the face of adversities to embrace life.

I like to believe that it’s probably part of some grand plan for us to grow and eventually evolve beyond the mere average level of being. I believe that no one is inadequate and nobody should ever make us feel so. Every single one of us has all the resources and potentials for anything, if only we allow ourselves to realize it on the conscious level.

And it is these times of trials and tribulations that offer us the opportunities to look deeply within ourselves. It is true that we are all not born or made equal, in status, in wealth and even physically, yet we all are given life here right now so that we can polish ourselves through the hearth-fire of existence to be the best we can be. Life offers us an unlimited spectrum of experiences, depending only on whether we have the courage and the will to take it and live fully.

I have often come across as an intensely passionate and aggressive man. I love passionately, always losing myself in the ecstatic embrace of love. I fight aggressively for what I believe in, pursuing my dreams, hopes and mission in life intensely without apologies or compromise.

While I am aware that it is perhaps difficult for many to understand and may be too fearful for them, that is how I can live and die with myself, living and dying without regrets or remorse as a warrior, a lover and a man.

I have been through tons of disappointment, rejection, pain and betrayal and dare I say, probably much more excruciating than anyone can imagine. I have literally been thrown to the deepest depths of hell, which some of you who know me are aware of (and I cannot even begin to express my gratitude for your support and generosity during those heart-wrenching periods), and came out of it alive, here standing strong still. I can only pray that what had happened to me will never ever happen to anyone else, as no one truly deserved it.

Of course, the easiest way to deal with it for a lot of people is to heap blame on others for what happened but that is not the way for me. I cannot and will not blame anyone for what had happened to me, I only have my own foolishness and naivety to blame, and be glad that I am still very much alive to learn from it.

I also do not and cannot hate anyone for all that, because I do not want to come from a place of hatred. As a man, I have to take responsibility for my decisions and the outcomes resulting from it, regardless of good or bad. I will not allow all that to make me a jaded, cold and mean person, for then I would have failed in my duties and responsibilities as a human being, shutting me off to the precious gifts that life has to offer.

I prefer to come from the place of love
, and I’d like to inspire the same in others to live fully, give generously, and love wholeheartedly.

9 Responses to “Fast and Effective Ways for Coping with Stress”

  1. Julie Melillo
    November 9 2008 at 5:50 am #

    I really enjoyed this post. It’s easy to forget how powerful our physical reactions are! I like your approach here. Especially reminding the reader that we are not always ready for change — though we think we are! I agree that the real failure is letting fear stop us. Thanks for posting this!

  2. karen parsons
    November 9 2008 at 6:46 pm #

    Hi Julie,

    Thank you for your kind words. I am glad it was helpful! “Coping with Stress” is a part of a series of articles on Stress that I have written, hopefully Life Coaches Blog will be posting the rest. So keep in touch!

    Kindest regards,


  3. Jill R.
    November 10 2008 at 6:55 am #

    This is a great article. I especially like the list of symptoms… some of which a lot of people may not recognize as a sign of stress.

    It’s also important to continue with your stress managment activities even when there are no signs or symptoms of stress. Doing this will help you become stressed less often and ward off stress before it even begins.

  4. karen parsons
    November 10 2008 at 5:48 pm #

    Hi Jill,

    Absolutely, it should be a way of life! Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.

    Kindest regards,


  5. yvonne
    July 1 2009 at 10:36 pm #

    Great site!!!!! Good health is very important with the high cost of medical coverage. We need to have a healther lifestyle by taking care of our health eating and exercising. I am a cancer survivor and I know. Our health is our greatest asset. Keep up the Good Work!!!!!

  6. Rev. Dr. Bush
    January 16 2010 at 1:03 pm #

    The physical body does not differentiate between happy stress and overwhelm. Stress is stress. We need to develop coping mechanisms in our daily life to avoid the harmful, physiological effects of stress.


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