The Key to Being Happily Alone


How can a person be completely comfortable with being by herself while someone else refuses to be alone even for a minute? Why do some people let themselves be persuaded to do things that are against their own better judgment just to make others happy? And just what is it that makes one person bounce back up from a breakup while another person wastes away?

I’ve discovered that it comes down to a lack of understanding of this one simple fact: that ultimately each and every one of us is completely and utterly alone.

Being the One in Your Life

It’s not just about the fact that there is only one unique you. It’s about the fact that there’s only really one person you have to face in the mirror day in and day out. It’s about the fact that there is only one person you have to answer to and one person whom you have to face when you go to sleep at night.

It’s also about the fact that there has been one person who’s been with you all this while, who has never abandoned you and has been by your side all this time.

The problem is we sometimes treat our friends, family and even our pets better than we treat ourselves. We forget to love ourselves, pet ourselves on the back, recognize our strengths and give ourselves encouragement. If our friends treated us the way some of us treat ourselves, we’d drop them on the spot! Yet some of us refuse to stop being our own worst enemy and start being our own best friend.

You Have to Be Your Own Best Friend

If you want to be happy, healthy and fulfilled, this really isn’t a choice: you have to be your own best friend. How do you treat the people in your life whom you care for the most? You have to treat yourself just as well, giving yourself love and acceptance unconditionally.

That means that when you encounter a setback, you say and treat yourself the same way you’d encourage and treat a best friend. When someone tries to persuade you to do something against your better judgment, you’d know when to say ‘no’ because you honor your own values. And when you need to be your only companion, you feel safe and happy to do so.

You Don’t Have to be Lonely to be Alone

Some people refuse to accept the fact that they’re alone. It can be scary to think that there’s no one truly responsible for you other than yourself. But instead of being a scary realization, it can be a uplifting one: when you being to love yourself and treat yourself with the care and attention you deserve.

And just because you have to travel this path alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. While we all have to walk our own walk, we are all on this path called life together.

9 Responses to “Fast and Effective Ways for Coping with Stress”

  1. Julie Melillo
    November 9 2008 at 5:50 am #

    I really enjoyed this post. It’s easy to forget how powerful our physical reactions are! I like your approach here. Especially reminding the reader that we are not always ready for change — though we think we are! I agree that the real failure is letting fear stop us. Thanks for posting this!

  2. karen parsons
    November 9 2008 at 6:46 pm #

    Hi Julie,

    Thank you for your kind words. I am glad it was helpful! “Coping with Stress” is a part of a series of articles on Stress that I have written, hopefully Life Coaches Blog will be posting the rest. So keep in touch!

    Kindest regards,


  3. Jill R.
    November 10 2008 at 6:55 am #

    This is a great article. I especially like the list of symptoms… some of which a lot of people may not recognize as a sign of stress.

    It’s also important to continue with your stress managment activities even when there are no signs or symptoms of stress. Doing this will help you become stressed less often and ward off stress before it even begins.

  4. karen parsons
    November 10 2008 at 5:48 pm #

    Hi Jill,

    Absolutely, it should be a way of life! Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.

    Kindest regards,


  5. yvonne
    July 1 2009 at 10:36 pm #

    Great site!!!!! Good health is very important with the high cost of medical coverage. We need to have a healther lifestyle by taking care of our health eating and exercising. I am a cancer survivor and I know. Our health is our greatest asset. Keep up the Good Work!!!!!

  6. Rev. Dr. Bush
    January 16 2010 at 1:03 pm #

    The physical body does not differentiate between happy stress and overwhelm. Stress is stress. We need to develop coping mechanisms in our daily life to avoid the harmful, physiological effects of stress.


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