Secrets of Changing Minds: The Most Important Key

Methods of Successful Influence

How did I shift the beliefs of a woman with a death wish into one so excited about living she took up salsa lessons? How did I persuade a man who had been carrying the burden of guilt for over 40 years that it was time to forgive himself? How did I use the power of words to propel my coaching success to become the fastest promoted senior coach in the history of one of the largest training companies in Singapore?

In the Secrets of Changing Minds series I reveal step by step the key communication tips & strategies from NLP and indirect hypnosis you can use to change minds and transform beliefs.

What To Do When All My Smarty-Pants NLP Tricks Failed

It’s what you must have from the start and it’s what pulls you through until the end. It’s the simplest key and also the hardest of all. The most important key to changing someone’s mind is just to care.

Not as sexy as giving hypnotic commands, but true.

I rose fast through the ranks of the Akltg coaches, becoming the faster coach ever to be ranked senior coach in the Patterns of Excellence programs. I was a little snotty as I became an NLP elite; I knew more about NLP than most of the coaches and I knew it.

But being the snotty NLP encyclopedia I noticed coaches that didn’t have my gigantic (awe-inspiring really) arsenal of NLP tricks up their sleeves…who still got wonderful results with their participants. What was going on?

I wondered over that for a while, until I gradually came to understand it: those coaches cared. And that caring, more than any coaching technique, was the key ingredient in helping their participants make changes happen.

People are smarter than we give them credit for. We may not always notice it but there’s an inner intuition that lets you know when someone is ‘right’ or when someone is ‘wrong’, you know when someone is acting with your interests at heart or not.

In all my experiences of coaching children, teenagers and adults it’s always been the same: if you can’t come from a position of caring you can’t affect change. If someone senses you’re coming for you more than for them, they’re going to switch off.

When you want to change someone’s mind, change it for them, not just for you. You’ll feel better for it, and you’ll succeed more often.

6 Responses to “The Secrets of Ninja Life Coaching”

  1. Yezhong
    January 14 2007 at 9:55 pm #

    I have both my hands in the air to agree that Phoenix is the bible.
    And I love the name “Ninja Life Coaches”. :)

    So, when’s the next mission?

  2. Kloudiia
    January 15 2007 at 12:13 am #

    Well said well said! clap clap clap :)

    You know what, that describes what a love coach does as well! The ninja way, of course ;)

  3. Kai
    January 15 2007 at 1:44 am #

    Heyo dude~ Haha… Ninja Coaching(do agree it sounds cool~) or not, thanks for hearing me out that night =D

    I was better already when I met you but you made my week~! Now I’m gona tackle my 2007 with renew direction~ Hahaha~

  4. Alvin Soon
    January 15 2007 at 9:18 pm #

    Haha thanks Kai! You’re very welcome…and you know a great secret that all ninja life coaches know?

    Ninja life coaches never change people, people change themselves :)

  5. cobra
    October 23 2007 at 10:59 pm #

    i am a ninja and i’m ablack belt in six martial arts, only i think its really good other people will get to experiance the thrill of th martial arts.

  6. DarkSecret
    March 21 2008 at 10:56 am #

    i’m not a ninja and not a martial arts, but i have skill to experience