Methods of Successful Influence
How did I shift the beliefs of a woman with a death wish into one so excited about living she took up salsa lessons? How did I persuade a man who had been carrying the burden of guilt for over 40 years that it was time to forgive himself? How did I use the power of words to propel my coaching success to become the fastest promoted senior coach in the history of one of the largest training companies in Singapore?
In the Secrets of Changing Minds series I reveal step by step the key communication tips & strategies from NLP and indirect hypnosis you can use to change minds and transform beliefs.
What Is Hypnosis?
Wow. Hypnosis. Is it some Force-like mystic power that grants you dominance and power over hapless bankers and nubile virgins? Unfortunately, the truth isn’t as glamourous (or as nubile). Trance is a lot more common than you think…in fact, you’re in a trance right now.
Hypnosis can be defined as an intense state of concentration towards a singular focus, so much so that external stimuli can be blocked out. The fact is, you’ve been in many trances before. Becoming totally immersed into a movie, so much so that you feel, worry for and even cry over those characters as if they’re real, is a trance. Not seeing the keys that you’ve lost on the shelf right in front of you is also a trance…after all, you just hallucinated that something that is there, isn’t!
Even reading a self-improvement blog, to the extend of not noticing how the bottom of your soles are feeling right now, is also a light trance
The Biggest Myth About Hypnosis
Is that you can be hypnotized into doing something against your will. The father of modern hypnotherapy, Milton Erickson (who was one of the leading models for NLP), did his own research starting in 1932, lasting a period of four to six years in which he hypotized subjects from upwards of 300 to 500 times.
He found that you could not hypnotize someone against their moral will, and that you could not hypnotize someone to do something they knew would harm them. In fact, some of them became downright uncooperative when asked to do so!
But Alvin, what about those TV shows where they make you cluck like a chicken and quack like a duck?
What you may not know about these shows is that the hypnotists have to do suggestability tests; only those who are willing to let themselves go and follow the hypnotic suggestions are selected to go on, and often enough, these folk are usually extroverted, enjoy performing and also know that they’re perfectly safe (last I checked, quacking like a duck is quite safe…quack).
Why Use Hypnotic Commands To Change Minds?
I come from the indirect school of hypnosis. The direct schools are those you see in the movies, where the hypnotist goes ‘go in a trance now!’ and things get all swirly and gooey.
The indirect school of hypnosis is a tad more elegant, and would say something like ‘I wonder if you would go into a trance now or later?’ instead.
What’s wonderful about the art and skill of giving indirect commands is that they work great on resistant people. In hypnosis, the general rule of thumb is that the more resistant the person, the more an indirect approach works.
So How Do You Give Hypnotic Commands?
Hypnosis is an art, and just like any art form, has its levels; from the simple but wonderful crayon drawings of a child, to the masterpiece of a Monet. It also serves many different uses, from the decoration of a flower arrangement to the functionality of a Ferrari.
While there are many different ways of inducing trance and giving hypnotic commands, here are 3 quick and easy ways using the technique known as an embedded command; a hypnotic command hidden in an otherwise innocent sounding sentence.
1) Using your tone of voice. Imagine hearing this sentence: ‘This discount is good for only 1 more day (spoken in your normal tone of voice), it sounds like a good deal (spoken in a deeper tone), doesn’t it?’
2) Using pauses. ‘Talking about it this way…you, like me…can imagine just how this can work.’
3) Using gestures. ‘And just by getting a sense of this, (start nodding head) you can really begin to understand how this works (stop nodding head), and feel how much hypnosis can help you kick ass’.
There are 2 simple reasons why this works;
i) these are things that people already do…unconsciously. So you’re using previously unconscious langauge consciously, to fully use all of your communication prowess and supercharge your message.
After all, words are only 7% of your communication, so you really need to learn how to direct the other 93% so you send out a powerful and congruent message…right (shaking head left to right)?
ii) hypnosis works on your unconscious mind, and even though you might not pick up on the emphasis on these words consciously, your unconscious mind does.
But What If You Get Caught Hypnotizing Someone?
When I first started doing this, not just in coaching sessions but in everyday life, I was dead worried that I’d get called out for speaking funny.
They’d be all like, ‘hey, why’re you speaking like that…why did you emphasize those words “you like me”…are you trying to hypnotize me? Why, you sneaky little-!”
But you know what? That never happened.
I found out a pretty significant truth: except for those with an heightened sense of awareness (who are in the minority), most people care more about what they say than what you say.
At least, I hope that’s a truth, and it’s not just me (shucks).
Give Everyone You Know A Hypnotic Command…Today!
Does it sound a little difficult to start? After all, you have to watch your tone of voice, when you pause when talking, and how you gesture. Who does that?
Trust me, when I started out, it felt like a lot too. But I started by just picking one thing I’d work on that day, like varying my tonality, practicing and experimenting with it to see how and what works. And slowly but surely, I became better and better at it.
So, why not you? Gain the power of changing minds by giving hypnotic commands…today