Life Coaches Blog

Methods of Successful Influence

How did I shift the beliefs of a woman with a death wish into one so excited about living she took up salsa lessons? How did I persuade a man who had been carrying the burden of guilt for over 40 years that it was time to forgive himself? How did I use the power of words to propel my coaching success to become the fastest promoted senior coach in the history of one of the largest training companies in Singapore?

In the Secrets of Changing Minds series I reveal step by step the key communication tips & strategies from NLP and indirect hypnosis you can use to change minds and transform beliefs.

What I Should Have Started With

Ok, I admit it; I held something back when I shared the 4 Essential Questions with you. But I did it to make a point.

It was something I left out too at the start of my coaching career, but unintentionally, and it that contributed to me flopping much more at the beginning. When I got it, not only did my ability to influence soar, I began to notice it was a major reason beginning coaches struggled. It’s a simple key, but often neglected.

So what was it I should have started with? The end. I should have started with the end.

Begin With The End In Mind

If you don’t know what you’re looking for, how would you know when you find it?

You can have the world’s most powerful missile, but it’d still be useless if you couldn’t fire it in the direction you want (especially not if it ends up coming right back at you!).

So the question to ask at the start is: What is your intended outcome for this conversation?

At the beginning of any attempt to change minds, you must know the end goal you have for the communication. Changing minds doesn’t always happen in just one conversation though, so you can set both long-term (beyond the present conversation) and short-term goals (in this conversation).

How Do You Know When You’ve Already Succeeded?

When you aim that missile and fire away, you need a way to know whether or not it’s hit its target.

At the same time, you need to know how you’ve succeeded at changing minds when you’ve already succeeded, so you don’t keep firing missiles you don’t need to.

The second question to ask yourself is: What will you see, hear or feel differently when you’ve achieved your intended outcome?

Will the other person breathe easier now that you’re there? Sign the deal? Go out with you? Buy you lunch? Become vegetarian? Cheer up? Link to your blog (hint hint)?

The 2 Easy Questions You Need To Know Before You Start

To change minds successfully, begin with the end in mind. The 2 questions to do that are:

1) What is your intended outcome for this conversation?

2) What will you see, hear or feel differently when you’ve achieved your intended outcome?