Just what is it that enables someone to take great risks, to accomplish more, to live life as an adventure instead of a dreary existence, to be more than she ever thought she was capable of being while others live ‘lives of quiet desperation’?
What is The Difference That Makes The Difference Between a Life of Adventure & A Life of Boredom?
I’ve been wondering over this for the longest time. There was a girl I was dating who went on a backpacking trip to Europe with her friend. Halfway around the trip, her friend decided to go back home, and she was left with a choice: either go home together, or go on alone. She had never been to Europe before, there were places where she didn’t even speak the language, and she was all alone.
She chose to stay on course, and continue the adventure.
What made her able to make that choice? Honestly, I would have been scared shitless.
Two things came together recently to reveal the answer to me.
A friend of mine told me about this guy he met, who told him about the recent skydiving experience he had. My friend asked him; ‘Weren’t you scared?’
And he replied, ‘Of course I was. It was worse you see, because I’ve always been afraid of heights. But it was because I was afraid of heights that I needed to do it. Whatever it is that I’m afraid of, I challenge myself to face it.’
The Secret Is Revealed
I was having lunch with my fellow coach and good friend Paiboon, and he mentioned this: ‘It’s a profound thing to be able to get comfortable outside your comfort zone’. At the time I thought it was cute semantics, but I wondered why Paiboon thought it was profound and the thought stuck with me.
And the more I thought about it, the more I realized how much it made sense, until I realized it was the answer I’d been searching for all this time.
Your Comfort Zone Is Your Zone of Power
We all have a zone of comfort, of things, people and situations we’re familiar and comfortable with. We know, relatively, what to expect, and we’re comfortable with our ability to handle it.
Our comfort zone is also our zone of power, the smaller the zone, the less we are comfortable with doing, the less we will do. But if we can expand our comfort zone, we’ll become comfortable dealing with more varieties of things, people and situations, and increase our personal power.
But in that case, why doesn’t everyone just do that? After all, having more personal power is better than having less. The answer is that everytime we hit the edge of our comfort zone, to grow and become more, we have to cross over into the un-comfort zone, and get hit with fear, doubts, uncertainty, and all the uncomfortable emotions you can imagine.
Get Comfortable Outside Your Comfort Zone
Do people who achieve more not have fear, doubts, uncertainty and all the negative emotions you can imagine? Nope! But the difference that’s made the difference is that they were able to recognize their fears, doubts and uncertainty, and know that it was ok to feel that way, and do whatever it was they wanted to do anyway.
They were able to be comfortable outside of their comfort zone.
Bravery Is Not The Absence of Fear, But Acting Inspite of It
How far are you willing to feel your fears, doubts, and demons and still be able to go on anyway? How much are you willing to suck before you get a chance to shine? How comfortable can you become outside of your comfort zone?
The degree to which you have choice is relative to the degree of personal power you possess, and the degree of personal power you have is relative to the size of your comfort zone. Everytime you face the outer limits of your un-comfort zone and overcome it, you become more.
What can you one small thing you can do today that scares you but is good for you?
June 8th, 2006 at 7:24 am
It is offen better to regret that you have done something, instead of regret that you have not done/tried something. So dont be scared