In NLP 101: So Dark the Con of NLP, I said that the most important bit about NLP isn’t if it’s real, if it’s fake, or even if it’s a marshmellow. The most important bit is if it works for you, in your own life.
So let me share with you a little bit about how it’s worked for me in my own life…
Alvin: Hey, NLP, how’re you doing?
NLP: I’m good, I’m good. You?
Alvin: Good, good. I was just telling everyone how we go way back, and how good a friend you’ve been to me.
NLP: Aw shucks, c’mon. It’s been, like, what, 10 years?
Alvin: Yup, 10 years. And don’t be so modest, I wouldn’t be where I am today if not for you.
NLP: Haha, I remember back then when you were a real jerk. You remember?
Alvin: How could I forget?
In The Beginning Was A Jerk
NLP: You used to go around telling people exactly what you thought, without thinking about their feelings.
Alvin: Yea, that’s when I realized I had to put empathy before solutions. Without you, I wouldn’t have learnt about first, second and third persepctives.
NLP: Sometimes you just gotta put yourself in someone else’s shoes and imagine seeing what they see, hearing what they hear and feeling what they feel to understand where they’re coming from.
Alvin: You were telling me that for years, but I never got it until I was arguing with one of my ex-girlfriends, you remember? Suddenly your advice came through, I used it and it was like the clouds parted. I could understand her better and I realized just how what I was doing was affecting her.
NLP: Told you! And the best part of it was, putting herself in someone else’s shoes was something she did all the time.
Alvin: Yea, and she’s one of the best communicators I know. No wonder NLP is the study of excellence.
How NLP Helped Me Win Friends And Influence People
Alvin: And your language patterns! Woo! Have they helped me out a lot or what!
NLP: Not to forget the rapport building principles I have, like ‘people like people like themselves’, or ‘to increase rapport decrease differences’. Without them the patterns would be useless. Hey, I remember you used to be a pretty shy guy.
Alvin: Well, I still am, but a lot better now. It was because of the skills, techniques, tips and tricks I got from you that I was able to overcome my shyness and be able to hold my own in a conversation. Without your Milton and Meta model, and Sleight of Mouth patterns, I wouldn’t have been able to talk my way out of a wet paper bag, much less use them to coach and help people change their lives.
NLP: Hey, I just gave you the tools, you were the one who decided how to use them.
Alvin: The best thing about your tools is that they’re very specific. Instead of telling me general platitudes like ‘be interested in the other person’, you give very specific steps to do that. I mean, I’ve changed from a shy stutterer to someone who’s started conversations with strangers on the streets, given presentations and closed sales!
NLP (blushing): Aw, shucks. It was all you buddy.
How NLP Can Change Your Life
NLP: So where are we going from here? You’ve got a pretty interesting series going on.
Alvin: Well, so far it’s been a lot of history, both yours and mine (nothing too naughty’s been revealed, trust me). But now I want to move it forward to our readers, and how you can help them too, in the next series of posts that are coming up.
NLP: Cool! Look forward to seeing it!
NLP 101 Series:
NLP 101: What is NLP? Part 1
NLP 101: What is NLP Special for The Super NLP Hardcore
NLP 101: What is NLP? Part 2
NLP 101: So Dark The Con Of NLP
NLP 101: How NLP Changed My Life
NLP 101: The Map Is Not The Territory
NLP 101: There Is No Failure Only Learning Experience
NLP 101: Every Behaviour Has A Positive Intention
NLP 101: The Meaning of Your Communication is The Response You Get
NLP 101: You Cannot Not Communicate
NLP 101 Thoughts: You Cannot Not Change The World
NLP 101: People Are Always Making The Best Choices They Have
NLP 101: People Are Not Broken
NLP 101: You Cannot Not Communicate: The Pygmalion Effect
NLP 101: Everyone Already Has All The Resources They Need
NLP 101: There Are No Resistant Listeners, Only Inflexible Speakers
NLP 101: Life Is A Series of Systems
Recommended Reading for NLP Starters
Great Reads for the NLP Hardcore