Empathy Before Solutions: Special Rant for NLP Practitioners

This is a special sidenote for NLP practitioners, but if you’re not one, keep out! Out I say!

Are you sure you’re one?

Still sure?

Ok :)

I want to say something especially for beginning NLP practitioners, a lot of whom I know are visiting from the Akltg programs which I help coach (hi guys!).

Way back in ’97 when I first learnt the Meta Model (a method of asking the right questions to find out specific info) I was told a story about the early NLP pioneers.

They were taught the Meta Model and let loose to practice on the unsuspecting world, and like all good NLP practitioners they went at it fierociously. When they came back the next day however, they all came back with glum faces: “Nobody likes us anymore!”

They had become Meta Monsters!

The NLP Meta Model is an elegant and powerful communication tool, but a lot of NLPers (beginning and advanced!) make the horrifying mistake of using it as a unintentional interrogation tool!

The Meta Model must always be coupled with a sense of compassion and using it to build rapport, not break it. Used artfully, it can be a powerful tool to help you understand first before you seek to be understood. Used as it is out of the box, without any sense of context and flexibility, it’ll sabotage you before you even start.

Remember, the Meta Model was modeled after the brilliant work of Virginia Satir, and she used it in very caring and elegant ways to help build rapport, draw people out and effect change, not to grill them on how specificially they’re doing whatever.

21 Responses to “Secrets of Changing Minds: Giving Hypnotic Commands”

  1. Yezhong
    September 14 2006 at 5:23 pm #

    Well now let’s hope this help clear up the air about hypnosis.
    It’s nothing sneaky or improper. In fact, there’s lots of fun involved! (esp when u see how well it works out) :)

  2. Alvin Soon
    September 14 2006 at 9:11 pm #

    Yup yup, my fellow Life Coach and trance junkie :D I think we’ve both been pretty lucky to have seen the myths of trance busted before our eyes and experienced its wonder first hand.

    Nice to see you back commenting here at LCB :)

  3. hypno101
    March 9 2007 at 8:47 pm #

    I wondered if you have read Derren Brown’s new book ? It has given me a lot of food for thought throwing a whole new light on the “hypnotic experience”.

    I once saw him live in UK, he is very well informed regarding goal setting and mind changing approaches. His views on organized religion are a real eye opener, not for the faint hearted!

    BTW Nice well thought out site. Well done!

  4. Geoff Dodd
    April 6 2007 at 9:22 pm #

    Hypnosis experience shines out like a strong light from your article: Secrets of Changing Minds. Thanks for showing ‘it’s going on all the time!’

  5. Brisbane Hypnotherapy Centre
    July 18 2008 at 10:25 am #

    Interesting article you got here. Some people may not know it, but when they are conversing with other people they may unconsciously be hypnotizing them.

  6. Glenn
    October 7 2008 at 1:01 pm #

    Great articles. I’m fascinated myself by conversational hypnosis and nlp’s use of structured, embedded commands in language.

  7. Hypnosis
    July 20 2009 at 9:31 pm #

    Secrets of Changing Minds excellent artical, being a nlp master practitioner we used embedded commands very easy to learn, Example would be as you read this artical im sure you will discover how easly you can learn. Simple but very effective as im sure you relize now.

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