Words Are Only 7% of Your Communication

A recent online conversation (wink wink) has made me remember one of my pet peeves; how frustrating it can be to have a conversation online.

You ever had that? Someone leaves a message on a forum, on MSN, a blog comment, and you have no idea whether the person is kidding or serious, joking or insulting, playful or destructive.

It comes back to the basics. Words only form 7% or so of our communication, the rest is 38% tonality and 55% body language!

And this measly 7% still has to go through our personal filters of the world, and you wonder how anybody gets anything said and done.

We must be smarter than we think ;P

We all know this intuitively. That’s why most of us know that to talk about important things, it has to be face-to-face, or at least on the phone. There’s so much information you can read from just being with a person, seeing their gestures, their posture, the pitch of their voice, and so much you can miss without all that (93% of the communication!).

Imagine a hot date screaming at you at the top of their lungs; ‘You idiot!’ vs. your hot date whispering in a soft sultry voice ‘You idiot’. Same words, but different tonality (probably different body language too hmm) and thus; different communication.

By the way, that’s why I think we invented smileys, you know, the :) :( :/ ;P things. Why? Because they’re visual! And they add the missing visual elements from our words. Even a smiley like this >:( is different from this >;) Saying ‘You idiot’ is different from ‘You idiot ;)’.

And you know what? Personally I think women have a one-up on us on this. I mean, with all the girls I’ve known who could make the word ‘it’s ok’ mean so many different things at different times…eek! Guys, back me up on this willya? ;P

21 Responses to “Secrets of Changing Minds: Giving Hypnotic Commands”

  1. Yezhong
    September 14 2006 at 5:23 pm #

    Well now let’s hope this help clear up the air about hypnosis.
    It’s nothing sneaky or improper. In fact, there’s lots of fun involved! (esp when u see how well it works out) :)

  2. Alvin Soon
    September 14 2006 at 9:11 pm #

    Yup yup, my fellow Life Coach and trance junkie :D I think we’ve both been pretty lucky to have seen the myths of trance busted before our eyes and experienced its wonder first hand.

    Nice to see you back commenting here at LCB :)

  3. hypno101
    March 9 2007 at 8:47 pm #

    I wondered if you have read Derren Brown’s new book ? It has given me a lot of food for thought throwing a whole new light on the “hypnotic experience”.

    I once saw him live in UK, he is very well informed regarding goal setting and mind changing approaches. His views on organized religion are a real eye opener, not for the faint hearted!

    BTW Nice well thought out site. Well done!

  4. Geoff Dodd
    April 6 2007 at 9:22 pm #

    Hypnosis experience shines out like a strong light from your article: Secrets of Changing Minds. Thanks for showing ‘it’s going on all the time!’

  5. Brisbane Hypnotherapy Centre
    July 18 2008 at 10:25 am #

    Interesting article you got here. Some people may not know it, but when they are conversing with other people they may unconsciously be hypnotizing them.

  6. Glenn
    October 7 2008 at 1:01 pm #

    Great articles. I’m fascinated myself by conversational hypnosis and nlp’s use of structured, embedded commands in language.

  7. Hypnosis
    July 20 2009 at 9:31 pm #

    Secrets of Changing Minds excellent artical, being a nlp master practitioner we used embedded commands very easy to learn, Example would be as you read this artical im sure you will discover how easly you can learn. Simple but very effective as im sure you relize now.

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