What Are You Doing About It?

One of the quickest ways I’ve found to stop people when they go overdrive into victim mode with their complain stories is to just stop, and ask them in the midst of a ranting session; ‘So what are you doing about it?’

A bit harsh I know, but I only pull it out when there’s desperation involved: they’re desperate to change, in which case they’re committed to hear whatever it takes, or I’m desperate, because they don’t look like they’re going to stop whining :p

Inevitably, they always get this deer in the headlights look on their face, which goes ‘what you’re supposed to be sympathizing with me whatever happened to “oh you poor thing”‘ and after that moment, the more aware of them will let the light dawn on their faces and seriously consider my question. The more defensive will go off into another tangent of sob stories, about why what they haven’t been doing hasn’t worked.

So, if I have to, I’ll go; ‘so what have you been doing that’s worked for you?’

(Astute readers, catching the focus on Solutions Focus?)

And then, moving on, ‘So what are you going to do about it?’

It’s a very quick method of moving from the past to the present then to the future (which is what really matters), and the re-focusing on solutions rather than the problems (which is what really really matters).

So, using this, what’s a challenge that you’re currently facing in your life?

1) What have you done about it that’s worked for you?

2) What are you doing about it?

3) What are you doing to do about it?

6 Responses to “What Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple, Said On Courage & Death”

  1. David
    January 11 2007 at 12:23 am #

    I just saw the keynote speech…Steve Jobs unleashes another revolution.

    On Jan 1st (my bday too) i said that this year would be year of courage as well, as i will have to make decisions that will significantly impact my life. Here’s to courage

    I was so inspired by Steve Jobs speech, when Adam read it during POE. “Stay foolish, stay hungry” along that line. It’s so true; even though society frowns down apon fools, that’s the only way to stretch yourself..you gotta be couragous and take risks!

  2. Alvin Soon
    January 11 2007 at 10:44 pm #

    Happy belated birthday David! Maybe I’ll see you when I go back visiting this coming PoE, do me a favor by saying hi if you see me :)

    That speech by Jobs is one of my all-time favorites, standard Jobs style: succinct and inspiring.

  3. Elona
    January 13 2007 at 8:43 am #

    Alvin,
    Thank you so much for this blog. It’s message is one that I needed to hear and see today, especially today.

  4. Alvaro
    January 13 2007 at 10:27 am #

    It was a master speech, that circulated widely among Stanford alumni.

    Not too different from the great book The Power of Now. Or The Alchemist.

    In short: what can I try doing today that will engage all my energies and passions, bringing the best out for me. A simple question, that requires discipline to be asked every morning, and acted upon every day, beating the many distractions.

    Enjoy the weekend

  5. Alvin Soon
    January 15 2007 at 9:21 pm #

    Thanks Elona, thanks Alvaro! Gosh, I haven’t checked in with your blogs for a while, work has been very busy. I pray things are well with both of you, and your missions :)

  6. Alvaro
    January 17 2007 at 12:26 pm #

    Hi Alvin,

    Things are going very well. Step by step. We are launching the brain fitness carnival this Friday, so if you want to submit some post (like the excellent one on the brain 2-3 months back) we still have time. Good luck to you too :-)