I rarely find a book on self-development that makes me rave about it, but this book does. The Big Difference: Life Works When You Choose It in its own words, ‘tackles the toughest issue – how to make choices, and in doing so, find what it is that would make the big difference in your life.’
The world tells you that you make your life happen, your life doesn’t make you happen. I disagree. The two can be the same thing. Most of us compose our lives around what happens. Life isn’t static, but throws up all sorts of opportunities to think, feel and respond differently. Changes in circumstances or situations themselves do not necessarily make us change. It is in our response to the situations that creates change in ourselves.
This is not a book with specific techniques or exercises that you do, it delivers its punches throughout the text with thought provoking questions and clever delivery. Lots of times I would read, and then have to stop reading because a certain phrase would just hit me and force me to sit there and think.
So many questions. Maybe too many. So overwhelming. Much easier to just go along with whatever the slings and arrows throw at you and whine about it. Provoking thought is always a risky business, as it raises the level of awareness of what you don’t have. If that is a discomfort you would rather not experience, stop reading. On the other hand, that level of discomfort may be nowhere near as bad as you think it might be.
The biggest thing I learnt from this book is the fact that a choice is not always about choosing what you want. A choice is also about knowing what it is you won’t get when you do choose something, and being ok with letting that go.
That’s really relevant for me because I’ve found it easy for me to become interested in so many things that I spread myself too thin. I’ve had to realize that in a lifespan of time and energy, both are finite and while there are some things I can do, everything is not one of them.
And I abhor becoming a jack of all trades and a master of none!
So I did some soul searching and plucked out the areas in my life that were taking up the most time and effort and asked myself if those were the best use of my time, and also if I were to lose some of them would the other areas benefit significantly.
And I realized that to truly excel in something I have to devote the time and energy to focus on it. So I’ve decided that in the year 2006 I’ll focus myself on writing and coaching and less on my other work as a 3D animator. I’ll still be doing projects (got to pay the bills!) but only on a freelance basis, while concentrating on building my writing and coaching portfolio.
We rarely know nothing. It’s just that what we do know seems confused and without any clarity. Is there a way we can make more conscious some of the ideas that flash through, but get dismissed as not being concrete enough? If we can maintain our gaze on new things for long enough, new things evolve. When you look again, you see more possibilities. It is almost like turning over the soil to aerate it. It is the same piece of soil, seen from another angle. Sometimes the truth we seek is lurking, waiting for us to have the guts to see it. Don’t know is a strange state of mind, but it doesn’t mean we have no answers. It means we don’t know, and there is a process we have to go through to change that state of mind.
January 17th, 2006 at 4:48 am
Alvin is one of my all-time favourite book-barometer. I’ve not emptied the contents in the rucksack he carries around all the time yet I do suspect that he always have a book or two in there.
Usually, what he is reading will also pique my interest and if he says it’s good, then it’ll usually be something that gives a different perspective or deferring perspectives.
I’ll trust it to be thought-provoking or provocative in other aspects (he occasional does past some picture books around)
I guess that book did strike a chord in him coz he has publicly declared in this space his intentions and direction for 2006.
His take from the book about choice:
“..a choice is not always about choosing what you want. A choice is also about knowing what it is you won’t get when you do choose something, and being ok with letting that go.”
This resonates deeply in me. I had considered moving back to headhunting full-time or taking a jab at running a business again while contemplating 2006.
Yet what really tug at me is developing people through coaching, training and writing. So I’ve committed myself to doing these even though the money is slow in coming.
Thanks for sharing about the ambivalent nature of choice.
I know Brenda is reading the book now…when can I tap the same resource?
January 25th, 2006 at 12:29 pm
Hmm…
I was at the Woosh event last night and Alvin was the speaker. So, feel like writing something.
Currently, I am reading a book called “The 8th Habit” by Steve R. Covey. Actually I am a big fan of “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. The reason is simple, the book is so deep that anybody with POE experience or not can get something from it.
So, the new book; I can’t comment on it as still in the process of reading. The reason I picked it up was that in introduction it says, ‘Effectiveness is not a choice any longer, but basic requirement in the new world of knowledge economy. People should aim for Greatness now’ and something to that effect.
Ok, I wrote something, not valid to the article just so that at next Woosh event the coaches do not tell us to post comments.
January 28th, 2006 at 1:22 pm
Haha oh no now we are getting comments from coercion
I’m a big fan of Steve Covey myself, his First Things First time management book didn’t just changed the way I looked at time, it changed the way I thought about life. Ditto for The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, so I’m really curious about what The 8th Habit is all about.