Dropping Feedback
Without being politically correct (it’s not one of my forte anyway), and to be totally honest, I don’t think there is such a thing as positive feedback. To cover both side of the coin, there is no such thing as negative feedback.
Feedbacks are just observations, given at the end of significant actions or events. For those of you who are so inclined- yes, maybe you can qualify a feedback by the feelings it caused…I agree in form yet I don’t agree on principle.
Oh… never-mind!! They’re semantics anyway…let’s look at the pragmatics in action. Humour me a little here, ladies and gentlemen. In your mind’s eyes, go back to the last time when someone came up to you now, and say: “I have a feedback for you.”
I don’t know about you guys but I find myself becoming wary and bracing for impact of sort…even to the extent of adopting a defensive posture. Right, feedbacks are just observations but why do we respond negatively to the word “feedback”? IMO, the simple fact is that when an observation is of a positive nature, we call it a “praise” or “compliment”. “Feedback” has become a politically correct way to say a “negative comment”.
“Can we discuss some of my observations?” sounds so much better than “Can I give you some feedback?”
In coaching, we often encourage leaders, supervisors and managers to adopt a solution-focused approach. I’ll discuss this in more detail soon. Feedback does not have a big place in the look-ahead solution-focused approaches. Simply because the nature of feedBACK (the perception of the word) and the way it is given focuses on the PAST.
I came across a wonderful article by Marshall Goldsmith on FeedFOWARD and it includes a run-down of a feed-forward exercise that you can adapt as a manager, leader, supervisor, or even with your peers.
Take some time to partake Yezhong’s post on assumptions and so many other posts on rapport and communication.
In sharing your observation with someone you may want to test out the following:
· My experience of you is…(state the behavior, no judgement only observations)
· What’s good about your blah blah is…
· It’ll even be better when…(state better and more desired action)
Well now let’s hope this help clear up the air about hypnosis.
It’s nothing sneaky or improper. In fact, there’s lots of fun involved! (esp when u see how well it works out)
Yup yup, my fellow Life Coach and trance junkie
I think we’ve both been pretty lucky to have seen the myths of trance busted before our eyes and experienced its wonder first hand.
Nice to see you back commenting here at LCB
I wondered if you have read Derren Brown’s new book ? It has given me a lot of food for thought throwing a whole new light on the “hypnotic experience”.
I once saw him live in UK, he is very well informed regarding goal setting and mind changing approaches. His views on organized religion are a real eye opener, not for the faint hearted!
BTW Nice well thought out site. Well done!
Hypnosis experience shines out like a strong light from your article: Secrets of Changing Minds. Thanks for showing ‘it’s going on all the time!’
Interesting article you got here. Some people may not know it, but when they are conversing with other people they may unconsciously be hypnotizing them.
Great articles. I’m fascinated myself by conversational hypnosis and nlp’s use of structured, embedded commands in language.
Secrets of Changing Minds excellent artical, being a nlp master practitioner we used embedded commands very easy to learn, Example would be as you read this artical im sure you will discover how easly you can learn. Simple but very effective as im sure you relize now.