Everyone of us function daily on the basis of our assumptions. Assumptions are formed from the day we are born. We have to assume things like our transport will take us to where we want to go, the bank will keep our money safely, etc etc in order to prevent too much conscious thinking and to allow us to carry out our daily tasks and sort things out with greater ease. Unknowingly, some of these assumptions appear to become facts to us, which in reality, they are not!

In building rapport, we seek to demonstrate to other parties that we hearing them and understand where they are coming from. By doing this, we first have to respect the fact that the Map is not the Territory. (Read Alvin’s post on Your Map is in my Territory.)

Assumptions can cause us to make premature judgments and sometimes wrong judgments. So in striving to build rapport with others, we must uncover what lies in your Map, and reveal the hidden assumptions you made about yourself, others and the world in general.

You can ask yourself a few questions.
1) What do you believe in which others do not?
2) What do you assume that others are thinking so that they did what they did?
3) What do you assume that others are thinking so that they will do what they are going to do?
4) What are the things in your daily life you took as a matter of fact?
5) If ‘this’ is false, it means that…
6) How do you know these events are going to happen?
7) Why do you think of (your assumption) in such a manner? (this helps to uncover the assumptions beneath the assumption ;P) (Special thanks to Louise for coming up with this)

In communication, when you are aware of the assumptions, it allows you to listen closer to what others have to express as well as allow you to be more empathetic and see things from the other party’s perception. This naturally helps you in gaining rapport.