This post is for the benefit of our non-NLP readers. If you’re an NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) practitioner, you’d know the emphasis that NLP places on things being useful.
For example, when examining our beliefs, we’d ask, ‘Is this a useful belief to have or not?’
Instead of debating on whether or not the beliefs are true, which could take time and energy and not produce a conclusive answer either way, the focus is shifted to beliefs that help and serve us. This is a rather, erm, useful way of thinking about it.
We can also ask if our behaviours serve us. Instead of thinking whether a habit, decision or action is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, we ask, if it’s useful.
And again, instead of arguing about morality, which might not be considered useful, we can expand the question to ‘Is this useful for you and for others as well?’
A quick way to see this in action is to now, stop. And think about a challenging situation that you’re currently facing. Answer these 5 questions quickly:
1) What wouldn’t be a useful thing to do about this problem?
2) What would be a useful thing to do about this problem?
3) What wouldn’t be a useful thing to believe about this problem?
4) What would be a useful thing to believe about this problem?
5) What would be a useful thing to do about this problem that’s useful for me and for others?
Now, the reason why I wanted you to answer the useful and non-useful questions is to get the sense of contrast between them, and begin to sense the pattern there. If when you were answering these questions, you got a glimpse into the useful and non-useful patterns of behaviour you habitually run when encountering problems, that is, erm, a useful learning to have.
So remember, a useful question you can ask yourself whenever you feel like you’ve hit the wall, or just need that extra push, or find yourself getting stuck in a morass of wondering whether or not a belief you hold is ‘true’ or ‘false’, or ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, you can find yourself asking another question instead:
‘What would be even more useful?’
This lays the groundwork for my next post, in which I’ll talk about a question which builds upon the usefulness question and provides an even higher perspective than it.
P.S. I’m curious…what new insights did you get (or not get) from answering the 5 questions? Leave a comment and let me know.
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