The Compelling Logic behind No Good Reason (NGR)
Looks like the NGR series, (actually it’s meant to be part of the Attitude Adjustments (AA) series that I plan to write,) has taken off on it’s own spin in it’s own axis so I’m sort of rolling with the punches here.
NGR has taken to mean a lot of different things to many people. For the sake of understanding what the heck here is all about…I’m tempted to use the other 4-letter word that ends with “K”. I’m a COACH, I’m suppose to be more discreet than this.
Yeah, that 4-letter word that ends with “K” that has the same meaning as s****l intercourse.
Don’t…read this further if you do get offended with a word that represents how this whole world come to be….
So let’s get on with what I’m TALKing about. Social intercourse, people, social.
In NLP, we say that:
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“The meaning of your communication, is the response you get.”
I’m going to take responsibility of the ambiguity of the title of my last post: Making others feel good for No Good Reason.
Now, while it’s apparently clear to me that NGR means ‘the absence of compellingly apparent reason’; I believe it can be misconstrued as no-good (read bad) reason, no good-reason (read neutral or bad) or no-good-reason (nonchalance). The last one is the closest yet not really so detached.
First and foremost, this AA is not a coaching tool. To me it’s a coaching attitude. At least, this is what I hold during coaching or even the world around me at large.
I’ll tell you what it is definitely NOT: it’s not about telling people (especially while you do not elegantly have that exquisite rapport) that with no good reason, they should feel good. Takes a while to frame this attitude: that given the time and space that they acknowledge that they are able to choose a response to a stimulus (situation, emotions directed at them, etc), they will choose to feel good even with the absence of compelling and apparent reason. Phew…that’s a mouthful and it’s necessary.
It follows a sequence like the posts I made: using a tool (like a mantra) to empower yourself to drown out negativity and choose to Feel Good for NGR. Once you have aligned yourself to this you can be congruent with your outward actions by holding the attitude that you can (even with NGR) go forth (and make a habit out of) to make a difference (to make them feel good). I’m not advocating that you go on a prowl and seek every opportunity (and then again why not? If it’s useful, appropriate and beneficial, the ecology of doing so checks out) you can find to make everyone feel good by whatever tools and skills you can find yourself utilizing. That’s a little trying and may be tiring. If you can, good! If you can’t, it’s perfectly fine that you make do with what you can.
The most important thing is, it need not take too much extra effort. Like the Million Dollar Experiment, doesn’t cost me a dime and I know that there’re people out there who WILL feel good when I manifest wealth into their lives. Do I need to know that they are doing the same? Nah…that’s not necessary.
I make it a point and a habit to address service staff by their names. Most of them have nametags for a purpose and it’s not for you to have a reference when you want to bitch about the soup. I just believe that it just makes them feel better. I give them the basic respect and I do believe that many of them feel good about it. The reason for doing so is not necessarily apparent. I don’t need to find the reason actually. I do it for NGR.
If I see a road sign that’s pointing the wrong direction, a faulty street light, a piece of trash lying outside the can; I don’t want to stop and think how it’ll benefit me to do something about correcting those. Thinking WIIFM (What’s in it for me?) doesn’t cut it. ‘Who benefits’ statements kills action. IF it’s within my means, I’ll do it for NGR.
It can even be as simple as smiling at strangers whose eyes you make contact with. Acknowledging the presence of someone. Mentally cheering the righteous act of someone from afar. Manifesting healing and rejuvenation for someone you barely know.
I do not need to account for karma or kismet.
I do not need to worry if I do enough that I can hold my head high when I meet my maker.
The Compelling Logic behind NGR is the simple: “What goes around comes around.” Just a simple mission to affect people positively so as to yield more of the same exponentially. Think of all the times you added value to people without consciously expecting things in return. Think of how you contribute knowing you’ll not reap benefits directly.
If you are aligned with yourself, and if you are so inclined, the most compelling logic behind making others feel good for NGR, is that you can choose to feel good for NGR!!
I am at peace with myself.
I am happy.
I really enjoyed this post. It’s easy to forget how powerful our physical reactions are! I like your approach here. Especially reminding the reader that we are not always ready for change — though we think we are! I agree that the real failure is letting fear stop us. Thanks for posting this!
Hi Julie,
Thank you for your kind words. I am glad it was helpful! “Coping with Stress” is a part of a series of articles on Stress that I have written, hopefully Life Coaches Blog will be posting the rest. So keep in touch!
Kindest regards,
Karen
This is a great article. I especially like the list of symptoms… some of which a lot of people may not recognize as a sign of stress.
It’s also important to continue with your stress managment activities even when there are no signs or symptoms of stress. Doing this will help you become stressed less often and ward off stress before it even begins.
Hi Jill,
Absolutely, it should be a way of life! Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.
Kindest regards,
Karen
Hi,
Great site!!!!! Good health is very important with the high cost of medical coverage. We need to have a healther lifestyle by taking care of our health eating and exercising. I am a cancer survivor and I know. Our health is our greatest asset. Keep up the Good Work!!!!!
The physical body does not differentiate between happy stress and overwhelm. Stress is stress. We need to develop coping mechanisms in our daily life to avoid the harmful, physiological effects of stress.