Postponing Your Worries
These last couple of weeks have been very difficult for me, I’ve had to deal with work stress from long hours and tight deadlines, coupled with some personal issues that cropped up at the same time. Like the saying goes, it doesn’t seem to just rain, it pours!
To keep myself going, I kept using an old and simple technique of mine. Whenever I felt a negative emotion welling up, I just told myself:
“Not now, later.”
Sounds pretty simple, doesn’t it(very similar in thought to Pete’s Personal Mantra & Mantra 1 posts)?
The trick here is to use it for negative thoughts or feelings that I knew weren’t useful at that moment. You see, negative emotions, contrary to popular motivational-speak, can be useful, because they contain important positive intentions that need to be addressed. But it’s all in the context.
How did I know which was which? By asking myself if this thought or emotion could be addressed right at that moment. If not, then it wasn’t a useful time for it, and I told my mind to postpone it to a later time when it wouldn’t interfere with my work and when I could feel it and deal with it.
I came about it intuitively, so imagine my surprise when I read over at Matt’s Idea Blog a quote from the book Learned Optimism
You can undercut ruminations by taking advantage of their very nature. Their nature is to circle around in your mind, so that you will not forget them, so that you will act on them. When adversity strikes, schedule some time – later – for thinking things over … say, this evening at six P.M. Now, when something disturbing happens and you find the thoughts hard to stop, you can say to yourself, “Stop. I’ll think this over later … at such and such a time.”
Cool!
Did I ever get back to feeling those negative feelings though? Yes, sometimes, when I got home and had some free time to just sulk and worry. And sometimes, I interspersed those moments watching some comedy TV shows to dilute and interrupt the pattern. And sometimes, I just plain forgot, and felt good for no good reason.
I just saw the keynote speech…Steve Jobs unleashes another revolution.
On Jan 1st (my bday too) i said that this year would be year of courage as well, as i will have to make decisions that will significantly impact my life. Here’s to courage
I was so inspired by Steve Jobs speech, when Adam read it during POE. “Stay foolish, stay hungry” along that line. It’s so true; even though society frowns down apon fools, that’s the only way to stretch yourself..you gotta be couragous and take risks!
Happy belated birthday David! Maybe I’ll see you when I go back visiting this coming PoE, do me a favor by saying hi if you see me
That speech by Jobs is one of my all-time favorites, standard Jobs style: succinct and inspiring.
Alvin,
Thank you so much for this blog. It’s message is one that I needed to hear and see today, especially today.
It was a master speech, that circulated widely among Stanford alumni.
Not too different from the great book The Power of Now. Or The Alchemist.
In short: what can I try doing today that will engage all my energies and passions, bringing the best out for me. A simple question, that requires discipline to be asked every morning, and acted upon every day, beating the many distractions.
Enjoy the weekend
Thanks Elona, thanks Alvaro! Gosh, I haven’t checked in with your blogs for a while, work has been very busy. I pray things are well with both of you, and your missions
Hi Alvin,
Things are going very well. Step by step. We are launching the brain fitness carnival this Friday, so if you want to submit some post (like the excellent one on the brain 2-3 months back) we still have time. Good luck to you too