Yup ! That’s what I told a participant last year during POE. (opps, Adam, Stuart: If you are tuning in, please DON’T kill me =p)
This lady obtained her ‘Certified NLP Practitioner ’ from somewhere else earlier. She asked me if I think a particular technique will work. So I simply told her this: NLP don’t work if you don’t have the basic INTENTION in the first place. (erm, I still remember the shock look and her face. Ha Ha ! ) To change, we must want to change first ourselves. Else, all these tool are useless. These tools aids us in accelerating our goals but not ‘change’ us to achieve our goals.
The incident I recalled earlier reverberated strongly in my head due to someone I met two weeks ago.
LC (in her mid forties) was a seamstress I met two weeks ago. Her story has put me to shame. She lost 15 kg over 6 months by just going for casual jogs in the morning and sashaying on the dance floor (in the CC) in the evenings.
Does she have a personal trainer ? NO !
Does she have a yoga club membership ? NO !
Does she have a coach ? NO !
NO NO NO !
She is not well educated and does not have access to many resources unlike us.However, by just the sheer POWER of her INTENTION, she managed to achieve her goals. Opps ! Where does that leave us ?
November 17th, 2005 at 6:05 am
Intention towards an Outcome you mean? NLP doesn’t work unless a person does. A person work perfectly. That’s a presupposition in NLP. When a technique doesn’t work out well for anyone, it just mean that it is perfect for NOT being effective for a person or a situation.
What if LC employs a personal trainer, use the service of a coach, sign up and use a yoga membership?
Does it mean that she’ll achieve even more in that span of 6 months? Probably.
Maybe, she avoids probable injury and a better overall toning with a PT. She can better align her new image with a coach. She finds a new sense of balance with yoga.
Maybe she’s best suited for doing things all on her own.
For what it’s worth, congratulation to LC for being healthier and to the NLPer for gaining a new insight like we have. :->
November 17th, 2005 at 8:51 am
Hi Coaches,
I agree the desire (intention) to change is one pre-requisite
cheers
November 17th, 2005 at 10:44 am
Brenda brings up a good point.
It’s like the analogy that goes; ‘Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.’
NLP doesn’t work, people work.
There is always a positive intention behind behaviors, but there aren’t always positive behaviors to enact those intentions.
It’s true that people must have the desire to change first before changing. But what if they have the desire to change but not the know-how?
That’s a very common problem.
I think that’s where tools like coaching, NLP, gym, tuition, mindmapping, whatever, come in.
Also, we’ve all had our minds changed by people before.
The salesman who convinces us that we should buy from him. The advertisement that makes us think one brand is better than the other. The friend who convinces us to watch a movie.
How do we, as friends and coaches, then help push someone over ‘the tipping point’ (no reference to the book) between wanting and not wanting to change?
Bandler says that if people aren’t ready to change, you should be good enough to make them. Whereas Erickson was of the opinion that some people just couldn’t be changed.
Which belief is more empowering? Perhaps the flexibility to see both sides of the issue and come up with your useful belief for the context you’re in is the most empowering belief of all.
February 1st, 2008 at 6:56 am
The writer of the post makes a good point. I developed an interest in nlp, read, ingested, practiced with vigor to conclude that it is really what inside that matters. Nlp is a warm bath for the casualties of life. Nothing wrong with that but I cannot see anything of true value.
There are winners and losers. There cannot be only winners, a fundamental that nlp globally ignores.